It’s the currency speculating craze that everyone’s talking about! Especially people who know what “currency” and “speculate” mean. Of course, I am referring to Bitcoin. This week, the value of a single Bitcoin has soared from $9,000 earlier in the week, to over $16,000 today! And there is no end in sight. Not for me anyway.

A lot of you are worried about investing in Bitcoin. You needn’t worry, because I am here to share with you everything that I know and have learned about Bitcoin. And that’s more than just a Bit! Ha ha.

First, Bitcoin didn’t just fall off the armored currency truck into the news. It has been established for a loooooong time. How long? Would you believe that Bitcoin has been around just as long as Facebook has? That’s right. And can you remember a time when Facebook didn’t exist? No. I am sure that you can’t. I know I can’t. I love me some Facebook. And I love me some money. And right now my favorite money is Bitcoin.

Here are some other facts about Bitcoin to help you better understand what you are buying from me at this card table I’ve set up in Philadelphia’s Suburban Station:

• Bitcoin is a “cryptocurrency”.  Merriam-Webster defines ‘crypto’ as  a person who adheres or belongs secretly to a party, sect, or other group.  So, in short, it is a secret currency! And I’m letting you in on the secret. The secret is… getting rich!

 

• Because it is a cryptocurrency, bigtime financial experts (like me) authorized to hold and trade Bitcoins are known as “cryptkeepers”.  Now you can tell your friends at work that you met a cryptkeeper at the train station and you’re making sick bank! You’re already talking like a millionaire!

 

• You may have read that you need to go online to buy Bitcoins from an approved exchange like Coinbase or such-and-such. Those guys expect you to give them your money and then “take their word for it” that they’re holding your Bitcoins. Huh?! What kind of dope would do that when all I’m asking you for is $500 and you can have the $16,000 Bitcoin that’s in my pocket right now.

 

• In addition to the Bitcoin, you will get a Certificate of Authenticity so you know you’re getting a legit Bitcoin, signed by none other than Secretary of the Treasury Steve Mnuchin. Wanna know something else? Before he was Treasury Secretary, Steve Mnuchin was a Hollywood billionaire and — wait for it – a  cryptkeeper!

 

Thanks very much for your business and your trust. I just know we are going to be Best Bitcoin Cryptofriends. Here is my number, call if you have any questions.