Las Vegas Police reportedly set up surveillance cameras at a home where residents reported a UFO and alien sightings. One resident said they were anally probed on the alien ship, leading two CSIs to quit instead of gathering evidence.

The popularity of weight-loss drug Ozempic is creaing a spike in emergency room visits from users suffering diarrhea, nausea & bloating. Because symptoms are so similar, hospitals are separating visitors in to an Ozempic line, and an Arby’s line.

Disney/Pixar’s Elemental posted the worst opening box office weekend for a Pixar film at just $29.6 million – even lower than their second-worst effort, Buzz & Woody’s Wedding.

Breaking Bad star Bryan Cranston said he plans to honor existing commitments and retire from acting in 2026. He’ll seek advice on how to live without movie & tv roles from any one of the people serving him when he goes out to eat.

Spotify podcasting exec Bill Simmons called Prince Harry & Meghan Markle “f*cking grifters” after they ended a $20 million deal to produce content for the streaming service. A spokesperson for the couple corrected Simmons, saying technically they’re F*cking Archgrifters of Sussex.

A man who lost 360 pounds started a GoFundMe to pay for removal of his excess skin through a series of surgeries. He wants donors to feel like they have some skin in the game, so he’ll send them some of his.

Hunter Biden agreed to plead guilty to misdemeanor gun and tax evasion charges. “Well, that settles it, we can stop talking about this now” said Republicans.

Former Google CEO Eric Schmidt paid $67.6 million at a Treasury Department auction for a 267-foot superyacht that was seized from a Russian oligarch at the start of the Ukraine war. Schmidt says he plans to redecorate it, but will keep the hookers & blow.

Russia accused the U.S. of planning to drop malaria-infested mosquitos on Russian troops invading Ukraine. The U.S. denied it, admitting they tested the idea, but most of the mosquitos quit during basic training.

Singer Bebe Rexha was struck in the face with a smartphone at a New York concert, giving her a black eye and a three-stitch cut. A 27-year-old male was charged with simple assault, and also charged $100 for a cracked iPhone screen.