Below Deck Down Under stars Luke Jones & Laura Bileskalne were fired for sexual misconduct after both tried to get in bed with castmates without consent. In each case, the person already in the bed refused to let them down under or below deck.

A study finds acid reflux drugs are tied to increased incidents of dementia. Nursing home patients are furious at the cancellation of pizza & wings night.

The genre of music known as hip-hop turned 50, making it eligible for AARP-hop.

Playing football may increase the risk of Parkinson’s disease, according to a new study. According to another study, Parkinson’s disease makes it much more likely you’ll be cut from the football team.

Five members of white supremacist group Patriot Front are suing The Idaho Stateman newspaper for revealing their identities. They claim this resulted in harassment, vandalism, and job loss. Although on the plus side they’ve also been uninvited from family reunions.

Amazon is sending warning emails to office employees who are spending too many days working from home. They’re threatening that if they don’t become better office employees, they’ll make them warehouse employees.

Americans are reportedly feeling gloomier about the nation’s economy for the first time this summer. This is shocking to economists, who say this time of year is usually much more cheerful while parents buy shit to send their awful kids back to school.

Kenosha, Wisconsin police pummeled a man in an Applebees as he held a baby in his arms, because they mistakenly thought he was a hit & run driver. They found the real suspect hiding in the bathroom, after the wrong guy was Beaten Good In The Neighborhood.

A supermarket in Austria was shut down because a Brazilian wandering spider – whose bite can cause long painful erections – was found in the bananas. However, before they closed, a bunch of 70-year-olds bought out all the bananas.

A Hungarian woman born with two vaginas, two uteri & two cervices gave birth to what’s being called a “miracle baby” – arriving via door #1.