The Terrible Ten: April 19, 2023

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch is now so large and permanent that a coastal ecosystem is thriving on it. Meanwhile the Great Atlantic Garbage Patch has officially changed its name to Wildwood, New Jersey.

Author Marilyn Minter published ‘Elder Sex‘, an erotic photo book featuring only men and women age 70 & Over. It’s the first coffee table book to offer counseling to anyone reading it.

Haribo gummy bear fans were shocked by the company’s statement that the green bear is actually strawberry flavored. And a small human infant.

The American Medical Association declared poverty the fourth-leading cause of death in the U.S. — then pronounced the entire state of Mississippi dead.

A Kansas man who went viral for smashing & exploding Bud Light beer after their partnership with a trans influencer has been arrested and charged with indecent exposure of his penis, testicles, and Busch.

A TikTok’er claims the secret to McDonald’s fries is their oil contains a beef flavoring. The company claims the fries are still vegetarian-friendly because the flavoring contains no actual meat. As opposed to the burgers, which do contain some actual meat.

Buffalo Bills safety Damar Hamlin has been medically cleared by cardiac experts to resume football-related concussion activities.

Tesla slashed the price of its best-selling Model 3 sedan & Model Y SUV ahead of their earnings call. The bad news is batteries are not included.

An Indian couple died using a makeshift guillotine to offer themselves as a form of human sacrifice next to an altar of fire they’d made. That, or they really misunderstood how to give each other head.

An eighth-grader who lost while competing in an Illinois “Beat The Streets” wrestling tournament sucker-punched the winner who’d offered him a handshake. He was then returned to The Streets.

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