Two Montgomery County, Pennsylvania dentists are accused of defrauding Medicare, and putting “not-for-human-use” dental implants in patients. In other news, several older dogs in Montgomery County are still waiting for the new teeth their owners paid for.

Google’s shares lost $100 billion in value after their new artificial intelligence chatbot, Bard, made an error during a public demo. Bard’s demo began with it asking, “Hey, Siri…”.

CVS acquired a network of primary care physicians, Oak Street Health, to offer medical care to senior citizens. In a related move, their in-store Minute Clinics will now be called 120-Minute Clinics.

Video game Hogwart’s Legacy releases on Friday, featuring Sirona Ryan, the first transgender wizard in the Harry Potter universe. Ryan can cast spells making whatever is between your legs disappear.

5 million bottles of Fabuloso multi-purpose cleaner sold at grocery & discount stores were recalled for bacterial contamination. They can now be purchased at Dollar Tree as Makusicko.

NBA Brooklyn Nets star and inveterate malcontent Kevin Durant is reportedly being traded to the Phoenix Suns – so that he can live close enough to attend the Super Bowl, demand free tickets, go to the game, and then ask to be traded again next week.

NFL quarterback Russell Wilson’s charity – the Why Not You Foundation – reportedly raised millions, but only allocated 24% for charitable work. People would ask the foundation for money, but then they’d be told reasons Why they’re Not getting it.

Southwest Airlines executives will testify before the U.S. Senate about thousands of flight cancellations during the holiday season. They brought a couple sassy flight attendants to soften up the Senators with dad jokes and folksy chat, which isn’t expected to work.

Nick Stoeberl, 33, holds the record for World’s Longest Tongue – long enough to hold five donut rings. He creates art by covering his tongue with Saran Wrap and painting with it. He also covers it with Saran Wrap when charging women $500/hour.

NFL Hall of Famer Michael Irvin was pulled from NFL Network’s Super Bowl coverage after a woman filed a complaint after their brief interaction in a hotel lobby. What is known is that Irvin didn’t stab her in the neck with scissors, he did that to a teammate years ago.