State Police shut down the Clara Barton Rest Area on the New Jersey Turnpike following a shooting. Barton remains at large.

Montgomery County, Pennsylvania officials walked back claims of THC & CBD gummies they’d confiscated from area smoke shops containing harmful levels of fentanyl, but still warn the public to be cautious buying Hibernating Gummy Bears.

Katrina Kohel, a senior at Morrill High, competed by herself at the Nebraska state cheerleading championship after the rest of her squad quit. She placed 8th out of 12 teams, leading four squads to fire their cheerleading coach.

Jay Leno appeared on The Kelly Clarkson Show following November reconstructive surgery as the result of facial burns from a gasoline fire. The surgery required grafting skin taken from other spots on his two-foot-long face.

Kayla Lemieux, a transgender Canadian physics teacher with Z-cup prosthetic breasts, has been placed on paid administrative leave by her school district. They say the issue isn’t her being transgender, it’s the concussions suffered by students bumping into her.

A scan of the Great Pyramid of Giza shows a heretofore-unknown 30-foot-long hallway – containing multiple skeletons of ancient Egyptian women who died in it waiting for Cleopatra to finish using the restroom.

A gigantic, Jurassic-era insect was found on the facade of an Arkansas Walmart. Coincidentally, inside the same store, an ancient mammal was found greeting customers.

A Maryland man sued a bar for discrimination, saying they banned him for being “old and white”. The bar claims the suit is frivolous, conceding the plaintiff is old & white, but was also not wearing pants.

Convicted blood-testing fraudster, ex-Theranos CEO Elizabeth Holmes wants to delay her 11-year prison sentence because she just gave birth to a second child. And because her new Theranos Pregnancy Test indicates she’s carrying ten babies.

Jess O’Connor, a ‘star’ of Lifetime Channel’s Married At First Sight, shared on TikTok that she caught her boyfriend cheating on her with her stepmom. She plans to turn her story into roughly 750,000 porno movies.