A rebuilt section of the famous Wildwood, New Jersey boardwalk reopened ahead of schedule. Business resumed beneath the boardwalk for the first time in over a year for Wildwood drug dealers and prostitutes.

Donald Trump is scheduled for court proceedings today in New York. His lawyers had to spend extra time explaining to him that arraignment still happens when it’s sunny.

Taylor Swift fans say the t-shirts and hoodies sold at her Eras Tour are of poor quality and fade after washing. Swift’s team said they’ll replace the merchandise, and she’ll write each person a song anonymously shaming them for complaining.

James Gunn, CEO of DC Comics movie division, said he believes “superhero fatigue” is real, with audiences tiring of big-budget special effects blockbusters. Gunn spoke on the set of the upcoming SuperFriends Spring Break.

Wichita, Kansas was named the Allergy Capital of the U.S. by the Asthma & Allergy Foundation – worst in the nation for allergy sufferers. Wichita’s mayor criticized the findings, saying tornados come along frequently enough to blow away allergens.

Brooke Shields said in a new documentary that she ran naked from the room after losing her virginity to actor Dean Cain. She described the sex as “not super…man”.

A time capsule buried on San Francisco’s highest peak was unearthed after 90 years and contained several surprises – the biggest surprise being, there wasn’t really anything gay in it.

The owner of a ramen shop in Japan is banning smartphone use in order to speed up seating times. Although the last fifty people he texted to tell them their table was ready never answered.

Kid Rock protested Anheuser-Busch’s marketing partnership with a transgender influencer by shooting cans of Bud Light with an assault rifle. Rock promises his next tour will be sponsored by a beverage that no LGBTQ people drink: White Claw.

SNL Weekend Update co-host Michael Che pranked Colin Jost by telling the audience not to laugh at his jokes, in what’s being called the easiest prank ever pulled anywhere.