These Jokes Are Also Dumb…All So Dumb?

An 18 year-old competitor in the Wimbledon Junior Men’s Draw was ordered by tournament officials to change his underwear before a match, to comply with the All England Club’s ‘all-white’ apparel rules. The player complied, and swore off eating Taco Bell.

A security breach resulted in 6 million Verizon customers’ personal data being leaked online. The customers’ identities can now be stolen with 99% reliability.

NASA’s Juno mission has returned images and other data from Jupiter, with NASA scientists claiming Jupiter is nothing like they expected it to be. ┬áJupiter plans to update its Tinder profile.

Earlier this week an Evangelical group met with President Trump in the Oval Office. The members prayed with him, with some ‘laying hands’ on Trump, at least until the burning sensation overcame them and forced them to pull their hands away.

President Trump visited France at the invitation of newly-elected French President Macron. Along with their wives, they toured Napoleon’s Tomb. Trump said of the visit that Napoleon is both a “high quality person” and “one of his favorite ice creams.”

GOP Senators unveiled their newest draft health care bill on Thursday. Analysts say the bill features low-cost plans at bare-bones prices, while critics say the plans aren’t even health insurance, they’re just memberships to Planet Fitness.

TIME magazine provided a sneak peek at its upcoming cover, featuring Donald Trump Jr with red hands. TIME famously put President Trump on its cover as Person of the Year; Trump Jr may end up being Person Sentenced to Several Years.

Republican Senator Chuck Grassley sent a letter to Donald Trump Jr asking that he testify before the Senate Judiciary committee about his meeting with a Russian lawyer. Grassley said he would have emailed, but that he didn’t want, like, the whole world to see it.

A ‘Kid Rock for Senate’ website has emerged, leading to speculation that Kid Rock will run for a Senate seat in his home state of Michigan. Sarah Palin and Ted Nugent swiftly volunteered to join the ticket as Vice Senators, before being told there is no such thing.

Thursday is National French Fry Day — which is like Prime Day, only for heart disease.

The left tackle on Kansas State’s football team has come out as gay. He described the response to his announcement as overwhelming love and support – despite coming from the blind side.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s