Samsonite’s CEO Tamesh Rainwala resigned after it was discovered that he falsified his academic background. The Board of Directors called it an open and shut case.

Facebook is shutting down its Trending Topics feature, after backlash that it suppressed stories favorable to conservative views. In its place, Facebook will display a ticker showing how much money they’re making by selling your personal data.

Johnny Depp’s fans are reportedly worried that he’s sick, after seeing recent photos of him looking thin and gaunt. Depp said not to worry, he’s losing weight for a role in the new film Somali Pirates Of The Caribbean.

A New York man is suing CVS for ‘ruining his marriage’ by discussing his Viagra prescription with his wife. The man argued that his wife didn’t know he was paying for Viagra out-of-pocket, and using it out-of-wedlock.

Microsoft is acquiring open source coding platform GitHub for $7.5 billion. Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella said the acquisition is part of a strategic shift from proprietary, to open source, software to crash computers.

The suspect in four Phoenix-area murders killed himself as SWAT officers stormed his room at an Extended Stay America hotel. “You clean it up” said housekeeping to Phoenix CSIs.

President Trump claimed that he has the right to pardon himself if charged with a crime, or if he farts, both of which he says never happen.

A 36-year-old woman is saying that a 47-year-old woman, recently called The World’s Hottest Grandmother, should give up the title. Meanwhile, nobody is asking about the 36-year-old’s 15-year-old daughter and new mom.

Embattled EPA head Scott Pruitt allegedly told an assistant to do his personal errands, including buying him a used mattress from a Trump International Hotel. When the assistant asked which mattress, Pruitt said “the one stuffed with bribes.”

Melania Trump has not been seen in three weeks. And if you think you’re worried, Barron Trump is three weeks behind on his homework.