Tuesday Jokes: October 9

‘Walking Dead’ actor Scott Wilson died, but is expected to make unbilled cameos in future episodes.

After an 11-year-long study, Candystore.com declared that Skittles are America’s favorite Halloween candy.  Kids praised Skittles for being as easy to throw at their friends’ heads as candy corn, while also being fun to actually eat.

U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley resigned, saying her decision had nothing to do with her boss being laughed out of the room during Show & Tell several weeks earlier.

Tristan Thompson departed for Cleveland to join the NBA Cavaliers, while girlfriend and Baby Mama Khloe Kardashian remained in L.A. with their daughter. Kardashian insists that they’re still together; Thompson describes it as more of an 82-game break.

A 27-year-old Indian man checked into rehab for what he described as a Netflix addiction – watching 7 hours of shows every day for 6 straight months. His girlfriend called the man ‘all Netflix, no chill’.

Alex Spanos, longtime owner of the AFL/NFL San Diego (now Los Angeles) Chargers, died. Players await a decision from Commissioner Roger Goodell’s office to see if they can kneel at the funeral.

Following Taylor Swift’s Instagram post promoting voting for Democratic Party candidates in Tennessee, voter registration spiked in the state. Newly-registered 18-year-olds in Tennessee are saying they can’t wait to vote for Taylor Swift.

A rare white tiger mauled a zookeeper to death in southern Japan. The tiger had been on a steady diet of red meat, but chose that day to try Japanese.

Struggling retailer Sears announced that it’s hired a bankruptcy expert to serve the company as an independent director. The expert is a bankrupt mom who still actually shops at Sears.

A man sued Disney, saying a Disney World employee ruined his marriage proposal by forcing him to move from his spot in front of Princess Castle because a parade was starting. He allegedly grabbed the employee, leading to his arrest and removal from the park. The employee was quoted as saying “Gollll-olll-eee!”

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