Thursday Jokes: March 12th

The Masked Singer eliminated The Bear, who was revealed to be Sarah Palin. The Bear/Palin had rapped Sir Mix-A-Lot’s ‘Baby Got Back’, with Palin admitting that “I like big butts” was dedicated to Donald Trump.

LEGO is releasing Nintendo Super Mario themed playsets. When you step on a Super Mario LEGO mushroom you don’t get coins, you still get a sore foot.

ABC’s ‘The Bachelor’, Peter Weber, selected Madison Prewett to be ‘the one’, despite his mother openly campaigning for him to choose a different woman. Female viewers seeing a boyfriend’s mother act like a total bitch call it the most realistic thing ever about ‘The Bachelor’.

The NBA suspended its season after a Utah Jazz player Rudy Gobert tested postitive for coronavirus. When games resume, it’s expected that Gobert will be open.

NCAA men’s and women’s basketball championship tournament games will only be attended by family members. Players are concerned about having to call their own fouls.

Disney and other Florida theme parks are staying open despite the spread of coronavirus. Kids are adjusting to getting their picture taken with Mickey Mouse standing six feet away.

Progress continues on Disney’s ‘Avengers Campus’ at their California Adventure theme park. Rumors has it that, if you’re willing to pay for the Thanos Pass, you can snap your fingers and make half the lines disappear.

The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. However the World Dog Health Organization announced that cats can get it and should be dealt with accordingly. [story h/t to J.L.]

A new study claims 90% of new moms can identify a baby by its smell. That increases to 98% if the baby needs to be changed.

A U.S. Customs officer was arrested and charged with attempting to smuggle 40 pounds of cocaine. The contraband was detected by drug-sniffing dogs at Atlanta’s airport who were honestly dying for something to do these days.



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