Wednesday Jokes: June 15th

Tesla may be sued because of allegations its Autopilot feature deactivates moments before a collision, so as to shift blame to the driver. Tesla plans to dispute this, claiming the car is shifting from Autopilot to Jesus Take The Wheel mode.

A lawsuit claims a 4-year-old boy in Houston was given a vasectomy during hernia surgery. The boy’s family seeks $1 million in damages, and a reversal of the vasectomy so he can start a family with the kindergarten teacher he has a crush on.

A muckraking political action committee alleges GOP Representative Lauren Boebert was employed as a paid sex worker and had two abortions. It also says she’s so dumb, she had both abortions done on the same visit.

14 children were injured when a bounce house went airborne and landed on an empty tennis court. First responders are thankful it landed on the tennis court, because if it landed on the pickleball court it could have killed four 80-year-olds.

Lizzo changed the lyrics to her new song Grrrls to remove the word ‘spaz’ which is considered offensive. She promised to be more thoughtful and stick to ‘bitch’ and the N-word.

Newlywed Britney Spears and her husband moved into a new house in a gated community where ex-husband Kevin Federline lives with the two boys he fathered with Britney. She says it’s not about visiting her boys, it’s so she can send child support payments with one of those drive-up teller vacuum tube things.

Charlie Sheen is displeased that his daughter Sami is now on Only Fans. He claims ex-wife Denise Richards enabled it, but it makes sense that Richards gave their daughter a video camera, green screen, and sex toys for her 18th birthday.

A dog set a Missouri home on fire when it turned on a burner of a kitchen stove. The dog was rescued and treated his family to KFC because he burned dinner.

Microsoft ends support for its Internet Explorer browser after 26 years. Loyal users are bombarding customer support websites to ensure they can save the Mapquest directions to their grandkids house.

Amber Heard told Today host Savannah Guthrie she still has love for Johnny Depp, adding they’ve been through a lot of shit together.

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