Tuesday Jokes: June 21st

Firefighters are battling the huge Wharton State Forest wildfire in New Jersey. They’re trying to stop it before it gets to Jersey Shore towns and turns into a grease fire.

Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee is only playing several songs each night on their current tour due to suffering broken ribs. Lee broke ribs bending over to tie his shoes while sporting an erection.

Texas Republicans adopted language in their official party platform calling homosexuality an “abnormal lifestyle choice”. Texas Democrats are expected to adopt similar ‘abnormal lifestyle choice’ language in their platform regarding anyone who likes, or votes for, Ted Cruz.

Workers at Philadelphia beer distributors went on strike. The interruption in shipments of cheap beers from Bud, Miller & Coors are expected to mess up party plans for area students graduating from kindergarten.

Freshpet recalled dog food over a possible salmonella risk. Dogs who already ate it recalled the food from their stomachs to the family room carpet.

A 660-pound stingray in Camobodia, broke the world record for largest freshwater fish ever caught. It was measured and released..then caught again and eaten.

Oreo is introducing Neapolitan Oreos – challenging kids to figure out how to eat the chocolate filling while leaving the vanilla & strawberry behind.

Elon Musk’s 18-year-old child told a court she no longer wants to be related to him, but is in no rush to be emancipated from his bank accounts.

The UK’s biggest railroad strike in 30 years has brought the territory to a standstill. It’s so bad, Thomas The Tank Engine told children to piss off and find someone else to entertain them.

Fans mocked Justin Timberlake for his ‘dad’ clothes and weak dance moves during an unannounced appearance at a Washington DC music festival. Timberlake attempted a popular area dance, ‘Beat Ya Feet’, but settled for the Macarena.

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