Wednesday Jokes: August 17th

American Airlines plans to buy 20 supersonic jets. Travelers will soon experience what it’s like to have their flight cancelled at the speed of sound.

Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz, who faces allegations of paid sex with underage women, will host a high school event for students interested in service academies. Gaetz looks forward helping teen girls enlist as privates in addition to seeing theirs.

The FBI returned Donald Trump’s three passports taken in their raid on Mar-a-Lago. Trump is now relieved that he can travel to Florida from New Jersey.

Los Angeles homeowners are removing their grass lawns amidst the long-term drought in California. Confused landscapers face lawsuits for mowing rock gardens and cactus.

Plastic surgery on vaginas has doubled in the last year as tight workout wear like leggings and yoga pants become more popular. Women are urged to find licensed plastic surgeons to do the work and refuse the free consultations offered by guys at Planet Fitness.

Tik Tok will not allow influencers to post paid political endorsements in advance of the upcoming November elections – disappointing users who were waiting to see who their favorite dancing granny was voting for before filling out their mail-in ballot.

Joe Rogan said that a show he did on Block Island was the most “stupefyingly drunk’ audience he’s had in his life. Because he can’t see who’s listening to his podcast.

Pathologists are raising concerns about the link between oral sex and cancers of the throat and tonsils. They’re also concerned about people trying to prevent it and choking to death putting a condom on their tonsils.

Dodge will discontinue its Challenger and Charger muscle cars after 2023. They’ve announced a special dealer allocation process to see who will get the ones left over after most are driven off cliffs by Dom Toretto in the next Fast And Furious movie.

Fuller House actress Jodie Sweetin said she ‘felt the presence’ of late actor Bob Saget on her wedding day. It was because he was there at her three weddings before he died, not her fourth marriage after.

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