Friday Jokes: December 16th

Airlines are reportedly lobbying Congress to allow flights with just one pilot in the cockpit. This way, there isn’t a copilot nagging the pilot about how much he’s been drinking.

A giant aquarium housing 1,500 tropical fish burst in a Berlin hotel. Most of them died, and attempts to save others with a defibrillator resulted in fried fish.

Students at a Canadian high school are banned from taking photos of a transgender woman teacher with Z-cup prosthetic breasts. Her placeholder yearbook photo will be a mannequin standing behind two watermelons.

A hippopotamus swallowed a 2-year-old Ugandan boy whole, then spit him out moments later. The boy’s mother then changed his diaper.

Tyler Perry – godfather to Prince Harry & Meghan Markle’s baby, Lilibet – skipped the baby’s christening. Perry declined after Harry & Meghan refused to name the event ‘Tyler Perry’s Lilibet’s Christening’.

ABC’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve announced performances from New Edition and Duran Duran, as thousands of revelers pack New York’s Times Square to ring in 1983.

A new study finds 1 in 18 patients visiting hospital emergency rooms are misdiagnosed. The problem is worse in Chicago and Philadelphia emergency rooms, where patients are diagnosed with ‘bullet wound’ instead of ‘multiple bullet wounds’.

Tristan Thompson will pay $9,500/month in support for Theo, the baby he fathered with Maralee Nichols while still together with Khloe Kardashian. He’ll also have visitation when Nichols drops the baby off with Tristan in the Champagne Room.

A 56-year-old Delaware woman was carjacked and stabbed by a 27-year-old Philadelphia woman who brought her 1-year-old with her. The carjacker was arrested before she was able to get to the mall for pictures with Santa Claus.

In Florida, a home security camera captured a black bear eating a Chick-fil-A order that was delivered to the front porch. The delivery driver was disappointed that the homeowner failed to tip, but surprised that the bear gave him 10 bucks.

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