Tuesday Jokes: December 20th

Mike Pence said the Jan 6 Committee has a “partisan taint”, adding that the group lacks representation from his personal favorite, 20-something male taint.

Former teen star and Christian activist Kirk Cameron successfully forced two public libraries hosting ‘drag queen story hours’ to give him story hour times of his own. Cameron plans to read to children as soon as he can find the right wig, shoes and dress.

Twitter won’t let you post your screen names used on competing social media platforms like Facebook, Mastodon, and Post, apparently to prevent followers from finding you on those services. They may add Friendster and MySpace just in case.

A 97-year-old German woman who worked as a typist at a Nazi concentration camp when she was 18 was found guilty of accessory-to-murder charges. She was found not guilty on lesser charges of stealing bottles of Wite-Out.

Epic Games, maker of online battle game Fortnite, was fined $520 million for subjecting minors to in-game bullying and harassment, tricking them into in-game purchases, and illegally collecting their personal data. Epic Games said they value their role as a 10-year-old’s first toxic relationship.

A finalist in the Miss England pageant is the first to compete without wearing makeup. She wants to be a role model for other young women, and says not wearing makeup takes the judge’s focus off of her crooked teeth.

A Philadelphia man was arrested Sunday afternoon following a shootout with police in the parking lot of a suburban shopping mall. The man will undergo a mental health evaluation because somehow he was at a shopping mall while the Philadelphia Eagles game was on.

Harvey Weinstein was convicted of rape and sexual assault in Los Angeles. Weinstein was already imprisoned in New York for a rape conviction there, making the L.A. verdict his worst sequel ever.

A teen in India miraculously survived after a javelin pierced his neck at school. In other news, a different teen in India broke the school javelin record by throwing it from gym class into a math class.

A study in Japan claims men with low libidos are almost twice as likely to die an early death. Japanese women married to these men are calling it a ‘win-win’.

1 Comment

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  1. Hi Chris,

    Great stuff! Keep it coming! I had a quick comcast question. Do you remember a Allison Hossack? I think she was in high speed product. Did she have a different name?

    Have a great holiday!

    Marc and Margaret!

    Get Outlook for iOShttps://aka.ms/o0ukef ________________________________


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