Wednesday Jokes: December 21st

A House committee voted to make Donald Trump’s tax returns public. The move was criticized by Trump, and by McDonald’s, who each don’t want American citizens seeing how much they were charged for Big Macs and Diet Cokes.

A Doylestown, Pennsylvania man was arrested in Starbucks for throwing coffee on a police officer, lying on the ground and biting the cop’s leg. He was charged with assault, and overcharged for an average cup of coffee.

Khloe Kardashian revealed that her 4-year-old daughter True lost her first tooth, then woke up with a stiff neck after sleeping with $100,000 under her pillow.

The Taliban have banned women from universities in Afghanistan. They’re also executing any guys who show up for cheerleading tryouts at Kabul University.

Samsung released a new line of Star Wars accessories for their phones and smartwatches, making it easier for women and men to spot nerds they shouldn’t date.

Jeopardy! camera operators are reportedly having difficulty with current champion Ray Lalonde, who moves back and forth frequently, leading to their nickname ‘Ray The Sway’. He’s still easier to film than a different past champion, ‘Keisha the Seizha’.

Bill Gates said that his divorce from wife Melinda after 27 years was one of his “personal low points” – pointing to a line chart of his net worth on the day after his divorce was finalized.

China wants citizens to go to work, even if they’re infected with COVID. They’re even allowing some employees to work from home, because they already live in an iPhone factory.

CNN listed topics that you shouldn’t bring up at the holiday dinner table. Topping the list for anyone visiting family below the Mason-Dixon line: “watching CNN”.

New York’s prestigious Juilliard School is now embroiled in a massive scandal, alleging a professor/composer solicited sex from students. Over 500 former students signed an open letter demanding that he face the music.

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