Friday Jokes: December 23rd

Wishing a very Merry Christmas to all of my readers, but especially Jeff, Dave, Jason, Mark, Marc, Jim, Tony, Lance, and others I may not be so well aware of. Taking a day or two off next week but thanks again! All the best to all of you.

Flip or Flop star Christina Hall said she’s suffering from lead and mercury poisoning, and blames the illness on all of the ‘gross’ houses she’s renovated. She’s recovering, and vows to stop testing for lead paint by eating it.

Chef Ali Ahmed Aslam, the man credited with inventing chicken tikka masala, passed away at age 77. He will be laid to rest on a bed of basmati rice.

The January 6th Committee released their final report, along with NFTs of the members in superhero costumes which they’re selling for $99.

57-year-old Shania Twain posed topless for the cover of her new single. “That don’t impress me much” said guys looking at it.

Adnan Syed, the recently-freed convicted murderer and subject of hit podcast ‘Serial‘, was hired by Georgetown University as part of their prison reform initiative. He’s reportedly having a tough time getting a date for the Holiday party.

Online gossip columnist Deuxmoi claims actor Henry Cavill did not leave – but was fired – over misogynistic behavior on the set of Netflix’ ‘The Witcher‘…according to an anonymous bitcher.

A teenager who thought she had Lyme disease after a tick bite was discovered to have left a tampon inside her for two years. She eventually recovered from toxic shock, and the tick was treated for food poisoning.

Homeowners in Alaska captured a moose shedding its antlers on their Ring doorbell camera. The moose then left their porch to complete its other Alaskan Grubhub deliveries.

Video from Missouri showed a transformer exploding into sparks as temperatures dipped well below zero. Officials said the transformer, Megatron, was in stable condition after changing into a furnace.

Bill Gates’ pregnant daughter, Jennifer, held a Christmas-themed baby shower just weeks ahead of her projected download of a baby girl.

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