Thursday Jokes: January 5th

A youth hockey coach was fired after reaching over the boards and knocking down an opposing team’s 14-year-old player during a tournament. He was subsequently fired from his coaching position after sitting two minutes for interference.

Accused Idaho murderer Bryan Kohberger arrived back in the state on Wednesday after extradition from Pennsylvania – the first person in the U.S. to willingly travel to Idaho in January without skis.

Honda and Sony debuted the Afeela, the first electric car from their planned joint venture. It’ll have autonomous driving features and Sony gaming features, so drivers can play PlayStation games while the car crashes itself into a tree.

Amazon announced it’s cutting over 18,000 jobs, mostly in e*commerce and human resources. The human resources people were asked to help fire employees, and then summoned to a room with a full-length mirror in it.

An Arizona man was arrested for indecent exposure while picking up a drive-thru coffee order at Bikini Beans, where servers are clad in bikinis. His penis went from tall to grande.

A man suffered a broken neck, nine broken ribs, and a fractured skull after tripping over his cat while going down the stairs at his home. The cat is still pissed off waiting to be fed.

An Indian man who lost his wife to COVID created a lifelike silicone model of her after she died. The model sits next to him on his couch, and features a little extra silicone to help him pass the time.

A London woman went blind after giving birth to a baby. Her mother was called in to help after she repeatedly breast fed her hairless cat.

Archaeologists in Germany determined early humans skinned bears and other prehistoric animals to wear their fur over 300,000 years ago. They also discovered a lot of prehistoric single moms whose husbands died trying to get them fur coats.

Fans of Celine Dion are outraged at the singer’s omission from Rolling Stone magazine’s list of the all-time greatest 200 singers. “Tell me about it” said similarly shocked Lou Bega and members of Color Me Badd.

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