Wednesday Jokes: January 18th

A Meet & Greet with Kyle Rittenhouse at the Venetian Hotel during the Las Vegas SHOT Show was cancelled, with the venue saying it didn’t “align with our core events guidelines”. That, and Rittenhouse shot three unarmed people wearing Black Lives Matter t-shirts in the lobby.

Chrisley Knows Best stars Todd and Julie Chrisley each reported to serve their prison sentences following their conviction for tax fraud. Todd said that he’s “closer to God than ever” – God, in this case, is what he calls his cellmate.

Microsoft plans to announce major layoffs. When? Zune.

Dallas Cowboys kicker Brett Maher missed four straight extra point attempts in the team’s playoff win, setting a record. They plan to stick with Maher, after teammates’ attempts to kick him off the team missed.

A 13-year-old girl led Nebraska State Police on a highway chase reaching speeds of 100mph before successfully intervening to stop the car. The 11-year-old boy in the passenger seat told cops that’s the last time he’s letting his wife drive.

Donald Trump’s 2024 presidential campaign requested that he be reinstated on Facebook. It’s not looking good, since Facebook replied ‘Interested’.

Massachusetts murder suspect Brian Walshe – accused in the killing of his wife – used his 6-year-old son’s iPad to search “how to stop a body from decomposing”. Cops also found a search for “why does my peepee hurt?” but the kid admitted that was his.

A Louisiana woman stabbed her boyfriend after he urinated in their bed after a night of heavy drinking. She expressed regret for her actions, because now there are two tough-to-get-out stains on the sheets.

TSA agents at San Antonio Airport seized an 84mm caliber anti-tank weapon from a passenger’s checked baggage. The passenger was detained, but subsequently arrested for carrying a 4-ounce bottle of shampoo in their carry-on.

A man in Washington state attempted to abduct a female barista by pulling her through the drive-thru window of a coffee shop. He failed, and was later arrested when he pulled back around to get the muffin he forgot.

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