New research concludes Ludwig van Beethoven’s death and early-onset liver disease may not have been solely alcohol-related, and that he suffered from acute hepatitis. In case you were wondering what Beethoven has in common with the members of Motley Crue.
Following a series of train accidents, Congress is working on a railroad safety bill. Or, they will until Republicans or Democrats derail it.
Large clusters of sargassum have begun washing up on the Florida coastline – leading lonely, hearing-impaired women to book Florida vacations so they can experience a sargassum on the beach.
Researchers in Great Britain say hearing ‘dad jokes’ empowers kids to become better adults. While hearing dirty jokes empowers them to become more popular during recess.
Artificial tears tainted with bacteria are blamed for several deaths, blindness and loss of eyes in multiple users. Worse, victims with glass eyes are warned that high levels of bacteria have been found in Windex.
A tornado touched down in Los Angeles. It arrived 20 minutes late and left a half-hour early.
Gisele Bundchen said in an interview that her marriage to Tom Brady was doomed long before his decision to ‘unretire’. She added that their final counseling session ended with her taking a knee with 30 seconds left in ‘divorce formation’.
The City of Philadelphia is exploring a program to reduce infant mortality by paying pregnant women $1,000/month if they live in certain areas of the city. It’s unclear how the infant mortality problem can be solved with an Xbox.
The Federal Aviation Administration is issuing a “call to action” following multiple near collisions on airport runways – starting with a pre-flight two-drink maximum for veteran pilots.
An Amazon delivery driver handed a package to a SWAT team member during an armed standoff in North Carolina. The SWAT team member then placed the box of bullets on the porch and the standoff continued.