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Traffic data indicate that post-pandemic commutes are shifting from 9-to-5 schedules to 10-to-4. This is validated by cops seeing more road rage shootings at 10:15a.m. & 4:15p.m..

Four million baby boomers are projected to retire each year for the next four years, creating opportunities for young job seekers in such areas as laying off baby boomers who don’t retire.

The FDA is set to approve new blood tests to detect Alzheimer’s and colon cancer. Cologuard may start testing for Alzheimer’s, as grandparents send boxed stool samples to their grandchildren for their birthdays by mistake.

Organizers of the San Francisco Marathon infuriated competitors in the Half-Marathon event, by mistakenly making it just 12.6 miles instead of 13.1. One entrant did complete a full half-marathon – he entered the marathon and had a heart attack after 13.1 miles.

Researchers in Japan determined a way to bond living skin tissue to a robot. Then every single one of them proposed marriage to the robots.

Intel is laying off 15,000 employees – who are now going fron IntelInside to IntelOutside.

The $269 Ninja Slushi – which cranks out frozen slush drinks in minutes – is a new viral sensation. Unfortunately, kids have wised up and won’t be fooled by broccoli slush no matter how fun it looks.

Lauryn ‘Pumpkin’ Efird – daughter of Mama June and sister of Honey Boo-Boo, filed for divorce from her husband of six years. They’ll share custody of two kids and Pumpkin-carve up the rest of their assets.

Tori Spelling said she’s planning to start an OnlyFans so she can send her kids to college. Spelling is 51 and has had five kids so she’s telling them to focus on community college.

A pregnant Cardi B is once again filing for divorce from husband Offset after another cheating allegation. This is believed to be her third divorce filing, according to her lawyer who was smart enough to keep the second filing in their Drafts folder.

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Snoop Dogg and his Gin & Juice alcoholic beverage brand will sponsor this year’s NCAA football Arizona Bowl. No word on the halftime show, but it’s expected to be Snoop performing and smoking an Arizona Bowl.

A woman who is 23 weeks pregnant won a half-marathon in Indianapolis. Another woman who was 37 weeks pregnant finished an hour later, and was given a finisher’s medal, and the baby she delivered at mile six.

Former CEO Howard Schulz said Starbucks needs to fix its U.S. business after reporting disappointing quarterly earnings. He plans to provide a 10-point strategic marketing plan that contains fewer words than the average Starbucks latte order.

An Arizona State student broke down in tears after realizing her suspension for anti-Israel protests will force her to miss the graduation ceremony she’d studied 11 years for.

Stormy Daniels is expected to testify today in Donald Trump’s hush money trial. She may address the media because the judge hasn’t issued her a gag order, and besides she’s learned to relax her tongue and take deep breaths.

Venture capitalist David Ulevitch said in an interview that the thinks half of the white collar workers at Google do “no real work”. Ulevitch then dropped off his daughter’s resume at Google.

ABC News President Kim Godwin resigned over the weekend, following reports that she was badmouthing her new boss. “This just in” Godwin said, “…my personal belongings in a cardboard box.”

A program autographed by O.J. Simpson from daughter Sydney’s dance recital on June 12, 1994 – the day of Nicole Brown Simpson & Ron Goldman’s murders – is being auctioned. Sydney danced to ‘Footloose’, and that evening O.J. cut everybody.

Sylvester Stallone is selling 11 wristwatches from his private collection, expected to sell for anywhere from $400,000 to $5 million each. However, Stallone will keep digital watches that he knows how to read.

A man ejected from his vehicle who died in a Massachusetts car wreck had his body dragged in to the woods by a bear. Officials discovered the body, but the bear left before he could turn the man in to a rug.