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A Pfizer plant in North Carolina was severely damaged by a tornado. Although it’s a Viagra plant so they expect it to be back up pretty fast.

Wildfires continue to burn in Athens. Water cannons are slowing it down, but they really need lots of baking soda to put out a Greece fire.

Saharan desert dust is blowing across the Atlantic Ocean in to Florida. Although the volume is nowhere near that of the Colombian dust that blows in by the ton every day.

Google is reportedly testing an artificial intelligence tool that writes news articles. It’s code-named “BuzzFeed”.

Khloe Kardashian revealed that she named her ‘camel toe’ Kamille The Camel. Kamille’s humps are reserved for NBA players.

Longtime ‘Happy Days‘ star Anson ‘Potsie’ Williams, 73, married real estate broker Sharon MaHarry at their shared home. “Sit on it!” said Williams as they consummated their love that night.

In-N-Out burger banned employees from wearing masks in five states – Arizona, Colorado, Nevada, Texas and Utah – saying it was to emphasize customer service. Diners in those states familiar with the chain’s “secret menu” can now order items “COVID style”.

The lone $1 billion winning Powerball ticket was sold at a Los Angeles area bodega. There will be one less struggling actor on the Screen Actors Guild picket line.

The National Association of Theatre Owners predict as many as 200,000 people will attend same-day showings of new movies ‘Barbie‘ and ‘Oppenheimer‘. They describe these unique individuals as “terribly, terribly .. lonely”.

A Burger King assistant manager was charged with felony food tampering for mixing fries from the trash can with freshly-cooked fries. She faces a sentence of up to to 20 years in prison, or 10 more years managing a Burger King.

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Ford introduced its first F-150 Police Truck. Police departments purchasing the truck have been bombarded with 911 calls from people asking for help moving into their new place.

White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer abruptly resigned, as President Trump named Anthony Scaramucci to be his new Communications Director. Trump has, in effect, replaced Ralph Malph with The Fonz.

The school board of Three Rivers, Texas has voted to allow parents to opt-in to having misbehaving children punished by spanking with a wooden paddle. If parents opt out of the paddling, their children will be punched, instead.

A Michigan woman was convicted of her husband’s murder, in a case where the man’s parrot – in the room at the time of his death – repeated the phrase “don’t (bleeping) shoot”. The woman awaits sentencing, and the parrot has entered the Witness Protection Program in an undisclosed zoo.

Cleveland Cavaliers guard Kyrie Irving has asked to be traded, shocking some NBA insiders, while also not shocking people who think it’s normal to want out of Cleveland.

A Texas company recalled its coffee after discovering it contained high levels of a Viagra-like substance. In doing so, it solved the mystery of men in their 50s and 60s flooding area hospitals with latte overdoses.

The bag Neil Armstrong used to collect moon rocks and dust during the Apollo 11 mission sold at auction for $1.8 million, less than the $2-4 million forecast. The buyer claimed that the bag was pretty dirty.

For the first time ever, China will import rice from the United States. Reacting to the windfall, Uncle Ben bought a new boat.

Jack Daniels will introduce a whiskey commemorating the slave who originally taught Daniels how to make whiskey. Look for ‘Some Black Dude Special Reserve’ on store shelves soon.

Ole Miss head football coach Hugh Freeze resigned, after and investigation found that he placed a 1-minute phone call to an escort service. The call would have been longer than a minute, but the escort told him there was no way she was going to Mississippi.

Two Baltimore police officers plead guilty to committing armed robberies and filing false claims for overtime. The cops argued that the overtime claims were valid, since they were at the scene of an armed robbery.

President Trump nominated Sam Clovis – a man with no scientific background – to head up science at the Department of Agriculture, despite regulations requiring the hire be “from among distinguished scientists”. Trump argued that what distinguishes Clovis is that he’s not a scientist.