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Police released details surrounding actress Heather Locklear’s arrest. At one point Locklear threatened to shoot the officers at her home, so they conducted a search for guns. None were found, but the cops did find the script for a T.J. Hooker reboot, which was seized and burned.

Retail toy giant Toys R Us may be closing all of its stores for good, that is unless the CEO’s huge tantrum in bankruptcy court ends with him getting his way.

Scientists showed off a robot that can solve a Rubik’s Cube in as little as 38 one-hundredths of a second. The robot has won its inventors lots of free drinks, but still can’t get them laid.

President Donald Trump is tentatively scheduled to meet with North Korea’s Kim Jung Un. Staffers are worried that if Trump wanted a military parade after visiting France, he’ll return from talking with Un and want to execute several U.S. Cabinet members.

Oprah Winfrey dumped a quarter of the shares she owned in Weight Watchers, but will probably gain them all back and then some.

Donald Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen said that he paid $130,000 to porn actress Stormy Daniels out of his own personal home equity line of credit, which seemed like a lot to spend for a backdoor.

A bikini-clad woman rode a white stallion into Miami nightclub Mokai, causing city officials to shut the club down. The horse was found safe, but entered rehab for his pound-a-day cocaine habit.

The Church of Scientology debuted its own cable channel. Executives of the new Scientology Network invite viewers to watch with their family; and if your family doesn’t want to watch with you, leave them.

At South by Southwest, audio manufacturer Bose introduced augmented reality glasses that give wearers an audio summary of exactly what you’re staring at, quietly enough so that your wife or girlfriend can’t hear it.

Customers at The Mill pub in Salisbury, England are being told to wash their clothes and belongings, after exiled Russian spy Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia were poisoned with a toxic nerve agent sometime around their visit there. Customers are also being told to avoid the shepherd’s pie. Not on account of the nerve agent, just because.

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A University of California study concludes that alcohol and caffeine can help you live past age 90. The study followed a group of 89-year-old Mormons who finally just said “f*ck it”.

Famed Bollywood actress Sredevi died unexpectedly at age 51. Her family asks for privacy during this difficult time, while they rehearse the 20-minute song-and-dance number that will conclude her funeral.

Seattle psychologists John and Julie Gottman have reopened the “Love Lab”, where couples pay $4,500/day to have all aspects of their relationship analyzed. Meanwhile, an enterprising lawyer is enjoying record business opening an office next to the Love Lab offering $395 divorces.

Charlie Sheen is selling his Beverly Hills mansion, asking $9,999,999 — or, an even $12 million if you want it cleaned and disinfected.

Iowa is granting gun permits to residents who are legally or completely blind. Officials there say they’re buying the guns, but what they’re really interested in is the sight mounted on top. [h/t to D. Terruso for posting the story.]

Ivanka Trump told NBC News interviewer Peter Alexander that she believes all of her father Donald Trump’s denials of sexual misconduct, telling Alexander she thinks it’s “pretty inappropriate” that he asked. Asked why it’s inappropriate, Ivanka said it makes her remember all the times she had to shake him off.

Ivanka told Dr. Oz that she suffered from postpartum depression, once she learned she’d need to wait six weeks for postpartum cosmetic surgery.

As Marvel’s “Black Panther” closes in on $1 Billion in box office receipts, theatre owners are reportedly demanding more diverse superhero movies – lifting the spirits of the screenwriters who thought their live-action “Hong Kong Phooey” movie would never get made.

President Trump told a gathering of U.S. state governors he thinks he would have ‘run in’ and confronted Parkland school shooter Nikolas Cruz even if he didn’t have a weapon.
“I wish” thought millions of Americans.

Heather Locklear was arrested on charges of domestic violence and battery on a police officer, who was able to end a fight she was having with her boyfriend by yelling ‘cut’.

 

 

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Church & Dwight, the owner of Trojan, reports that condom sales are down.  Researchers say that 17-25 year-olds are having less sex because they’re distracted by their smartphones. And of those that do, the men have improved negotiating skills.

  • For its part, Trojan says it’s using digital advertising to “try and get young people off their phones and using Trojan condoms”. So in addition to ads touting the benefits of Trojan, the company is also advertising prostitutes.

Fox Networks and T-Mobile announced they’ll be running a new 6-second ad format during Sunday’s Cowboys/Broncos game – giving football fans a few days to practice urinating in 6 seconds.

‘Bluetiful’ is the name of the new Crayola crayon chosen by fans after two months of online voting. It will debut later this year; toddlers are eager to see how it tastes.

Frank Giaccio, an 11 year-old boy who wrote to President Trump asking to mow the White House lawn, did just that on Friday morning. The President patted Frank on the back and called him “the future of our country…especially with all of those DACA immigrants I’m letting stay here now..”

  •   11 year-old Barron Trump asked his mother “what’s the thing that boy is pushing around in our yard?”

Barron Trump will appear in a father-and-son White House portrait, keeping the President’s promise to see him every couple of days.

President Trump used Twitter to call on ESPN to “apologize for untruth”. ESPN apologized for calling new analyst Rex Ryan a football genius.

Rovio, maker of Angry Birds, plans an initial public stock offering that would put its market value at a billion dollars. Rovio’s founder said if the company beats the billion-dollar level, he’ll probably quit the game.

NASA concluded an eight-month experiment where six researchers were isolated atop a Hawaiian volcano to simulate life on Mars. The researchers were eager to finally get pizza and see if the country had changed Presidents.

Heather Locklear was sent to the hospital following a car crash. Locklear’s representative said her condition will be revealed next Thursday at 8PM!!