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Education Secretary Betsy DeVos defended federal spending cuts that would eliminate government funding for Special Olympics. Although insiders say a scaled-back plan is in the works to keep funding the games, while eliminating the pole vault and javelin events.

Rapper Cardi B is under fire for admitting to luring men to hotels for sex, then drugging and robbing them. She claims to have done so while working as a stripper using the name Cos B.

Actress Marcia Cross spoke to People magazine about her recent diagnosis and successful treatment of anal cancer. She was relieved to have avoided surgery, saying “..I am a big fan of the anus!” adding that she meant the body part, not the President.

An Arby’s manager was arrested for fatally shooting a customer with whom she’d argued and who then spit in her face. Arby’s is conducting a full investigation, adding that they’re experienced with restaurant fatalities, just not from gunshot wounds.

Marvel fans are debating whether Avengers: Endgame – with its reported 3-hour runtime – should have an intermission. Producers oppose the idea, although they may splice in a three-minute scene of Captain Marvel and Black Widow talking about how gross it is that Scarlet Witch was sleeping with Vision.

NASA postponed the all-female spacewalk, citing issues finding the correct-sized spacesuits for the astronauts. NASA is now rapidly training 60-year-old Korean women to take the next shuttle up there with a brick of chalk and some pins for tailoring.

Lilly Singh – star of YouTube channel Superwoman – is taking over Carson Daly’s 1:35a.m. NBC talk show this fall. NBC made the announcement so as not to alarm the six people watching.

Viral video shows Pope Francis withdrawing his hand as Catholics in line to meet him at a shrine attempted to kiss his ring. He eventually removed the ring from his hand and attached it to his zipper.

McDonald’s acquired sales assistant software Dynamic Yield. They say that Dynamic Yield’s software will allow them to change digital menu boards to react to environmental conditions – like more coffee on cold days, more ice cream on hot days, and just ordering 3 Big Macs when a large customer is breathing heavy.

NFL owners agreed to expand video replay review to include pass interference. As a result, a bipartisan Congressional committee has drafted a bill to make Sundays from September through December 25 hours long.

 

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The Smithsonian Institution introduced its newest guide, a 4-foot-tall robot named Pepper. “So, who else besides me is already bored?” said Pepper before being replaced by an older robot that appreciates history.

Stormy Daniels filed a defamation lawsuit against President Trump, because why not, when a person who takes money for having sex sincerely believes her character was damaged by the guy paying for it.

Unnamed White House staffers told NBC News that White House Chief of Staff John Kelly referred to President Trump on several occasions as “an idiot”. This has upset the Secret Service, who are concerned about Kelly randomly using their code word for the President.

ESPN is rumored to be offering Dallas Cowboys tight end Jason Witten $4 million to become the new lead analyst on Monday Night Football – this, in addition to the money they allegedly paid Jon Gruden to shut up and leave.

Former Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore filed a complaint claiming that he was the target of a political conspiracy by women alleging to be victims of sexual assault by Moore. Moore asserts that the women caused him to lose his election for Alabama senator, and got him banned for life from Chuck E. Cheese.

African-American activists have convinced Starbucks to bar anti-Semitism group Anti-Defamation League from Starbucks upcoming anti-bias training session. Starbucks said they’ve scheduled a second, Jewish customer anti-bias training, for Yom Kippur.

Kim Jong Un is reportedly considering meeting President Trump at the Korean DMZ – although insiders assume they both mistakenly think they’re meeting at TMZ.

Jennifer Garner tweeted a photo of a note reading “I love farts” written by her 6-year-old son Samuel — and optioned by Sony Pictures for an upcoming film directed by his father, Ben Affleck.

A 12-year-old boy returned to school, after being trapped underwater for 8 minutes at a North Carolina resort’s ‘lazy river’.  Operators of the resort said if the kid warescued faster, he should have gotten stuck under the ‘ambitious river’.

OnePoll surveyed 2,000 U.S. workers and compiled a list of the 10 most ‘cringeworthy’ office phrases, topped by “Give it 110%” and “think outside the box”. Surprisingly absent from the list?.. “we’re eliminating your position”.

Avengers – Infinity War actress Elisabeth Olsen said that if she could change her Scarlet Witch costume, she wouldn’t reveal so much cleavage; adding that she would have hidden one of the Infinity Stones in between her breasts, but Thanos could easily see it was there.