Friday Jokes: March 16th

Former porn star Jenna Jameson shared an Instagram photo of her breastfeeding her 11-month-old son, advocating for normalcy to the act of breastfeeding in public. After the photo shoot, her son took a cigarette break and got a ride to his next job.

Trump will meet with tech billionaire Bill Gates at the White House on Thursday. Gates is expected to unplug Trump’s cable modem, wait 30 seconds, and plug it back in.

Actor Burt Reynolds told the Today show’s Hoda Kotb that he fell in love with Sally Field when Field was seven years old. Reynolds told Kotb he fought with producers who didn’t want to cast her in his movie Smokey And The Pedophile.

Anderson Cooper and his boyfriend of nine years, Benjamin Maisani, broke up amicably, and will share custody of the gym membership and dog.

A Sicilian prophet predicted the arrival of the Virgin Mary at 4:30pm local time on St. Patrick’s Day in a small chapel in southern Germany – the same day and time “pilgrims” said she arrived last year. They say they recognized Mary’s arrival by her “scent of roses”, although that was also the Febreze used to cover up the pasta fagioli lunch.

A group of Toyota engineers in Japan built a free-throw shooting robot that never misses. However the robot brings great shame on his family for his terrible grades.

Stormy Daniels’ attorney told MSNBC that in the wake of her admission of sex with Donald Trump she has been “physically threatened” – and emotionally traumatized by the memory of him in white briefs.

Playboy is introducing a new cryptocurrency that you can earn by interacting with porn, leading one customer to say “I’m rich, but boy is my arm tired.”

Apple is holding an education-focused event on March 27th at a Chicago high school. The American students will be lectured by Chinese Apple employees during their break from junior high school.

Five Pennridge High School students in Pennsylvania who participated in the National Walkout Against Gun Violence received extra detention for going to Dunkin Donuts while out of school. The students’ parents argued that since they all had coffee, they’ve been punished enough.

 

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