Match, parent company of Tinder, is suing its dating app competitor Bumble, saying that Bumble stole Tinder’s ‘swiping’ and ‘women make the first move’ ideas.  Before the matter goes to court, Match, Tinder & Bumble are going out for coffee with their gay friend Grindr to see if they can work things out.

Sex And The City actress Cynthia Nixon is challenging incumbent Andrew Cuomo for the Democratic nomination for Governor of New York State. She’s narrowed her campaign slogans down to “Nixon – A Name You Can Trust” or “I Was The Dumpy One, So You Know I’m Good At Politics”.

An Arizona pedestrian was struck and killed by a self-driving Uber. Worse, the car was texting.

Delta Airlines is apologizing for misrouting a puppy on a cross-country flight. The puppy departed Richmond, VA bound for Boise, ID but was sent to Las Vegas. The puppy was finally reunited with its owner, but was hungover and broke.

Here’s Ivanka Trump preparing for a romantic evening with Jared Kushner as they contemplate having a fourth child:

Police in Glendale, Wisconsin are looking for a woman who assaulted a McDonald’s employee for putting sausage on her breakfast sandwich instead of bacon. Wisconsin lawmakers responded by approving a bill to train McDonald’s employees in using handguns.

Women’s motorcycle land speed record holder Valerie Thompson survived when her streamlined bike crashed at 343mph. Thompson lost control of the bike when she passed her friend wearing a cute top and tried to flag her down to see where she got it.

Star Millie Bobby Brown tweeted support to a young boy after his sister posted on Twitter that none of his friends showed up to his Stranger Things themed birthday party.  Brown asked for an invite to next year’s party, while police worked to identify the bodies of the invitees who had been eaten by a demogorgon.

Walt Disney World reopened its “Pirates of the Caribbean” attraction, after removing a scene depicting shackled women being auctioned as brides. The scene has been replaced with a ship being hijacked and the crew murdered, along with its renaming to “Somali Pirates of the Caribbean”.

Scientists in South Carolina found that a small daily dose of Viagra reduced the development of colorectal cancer in mice, and made the mice too busy to care about their colorectal cancer, anyway.