Wednesday Jokes: July 10th

U.S. Attorneys discovered photos and images on discs, believed to be of underage girls, at the home of billionaire Jeffrey Epstein. They thanked an elite tactical team of junior high boys enlisted for the search, highly skilled in finding porn hidden in anyone’s house.

For just the second time, a woman has given birth after receiving a uterus transplanted from a deceased donor. The donor remains anonymous, but was described as “almost frigid”.

Mini Cooper debuted its first fully electric vehicle. It can travel up to 180 miles carrying four environmentally-conscious lesbians.

A 13-year-old Canadian scientist has proven that decibel levels of restroom hand dryers are harmful to children’s hearing – as are the general decibel levels following Taco Tuesday in the school cafeteria.

Facebook published its 2019 diversity report, saying that it’s looking to expand the number of women and minority employees from current levels, to “some”.

The World Cup Champion U.S. Women’s National Soccer team was honored with a ticker-tape parade in New York on Thursday, which started “when we’re ready, OKAY?!” said the women.

Golfer John Daly was refused the use of a riding golf cart by the Open Championship in Ireland. Daly dropped out of the tournament and started looking for an Irish Hooters parking lot where he could sign autographs.

Twitter announced new rules banning hate speech based on religion, as part of its commitment to a culture of trust, safety and respect which will never exist.

Disney is recalling its Toy Story 4 “Forky” plush toy because its plastic eyes could detach and cause a choking hazard. They advise taking the toy from children, then watching as the rest of your child’s toys risk their lives trying to get it back.

Shadow Cabaret strip club will host a charity golf tournament at Trump Doral in Florida featuring strippers as ‘caddy girls’ – raising questions about why the Trump organization would host the event, and bigger questions about why the President isn’t playing in it.

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