Thursday Jokes: December 19th

The U.S. House of Representatives approved Articles of Impeachment against Donald Trump. Trump held a rally in Battle Creek, Michigan, home of some of his oldest and dearest friends – Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger & Dig ‘Em.

A man on a Virgin Atlantic flight from London to New York gave up his first-class seat so that an 88-year-old woman in coach could take it. He explained that first class was the only place on board with a defibrillator.

A start-up company devised a workplace toilet that slopes 13 degrees forward, making it uncomfortable for long seated periods so employees return to work faster. A startup of goofoffs devised a harness to wear while using it so you can stay as long as you like.

Ikea previewed its ‘Smart Home’ plans for 2020. Customers eagerly await smart home products from the company that makes you walk through a mile-long labyrinth to get to the checkout after you buy them.

Selena Gomez is opening up about what she calls the “abuse” during her relationship with Justin Bieber – most of which involved having to listen to Justin Bieber songs.

A mini-casino will open in a former Sears department store location in York, Pennsylvania. It was chosen because people are used to going there and blowing money with nothing good to show for it.

A new study claims people regularly eating chili peppers reduce their risk of death by 23%, mainly because colorectal cancers are melted. [Story h/t to A.O.]

Delta Airlines flight attendants say their new uniforms are making them lose their hair, break out in hives, and cough uncontrollably. Coincidentally, Delta passengers are saying the same thing about the $10 in-flight meals. revealed its top-selling product of 2019, the Instant Pot programmable pressure cooker. Other top sellers were paper towels and flushable wipes, to clean up after the terrible Instant Pot meals.

TMZ shared video of Serena Willams getting boxing lessons from Mike Tyson. Williams may miss January’s Australian Open with a broken jaw.


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