Monday Jokes: May 11th

Tinder is testing live in-app trivia. Games include ‘Am I Married?’; ‘What Strains of Herpes Do I Have?’; & ‘What’s In My Underwear?’

Seattle is closing 20 miles of city streets to most vehicular traffic so residents can exercise and bike on them. They’ll also retrain dozens of cops to spot and arrest Big Wheel DUIs.

Lyft is requiring riders and drivers to wear masks and to state that, to the best of their knowledge, they don’t have COVID-19 symptoms. Only then can they proceed to creep each other out.

Google is unifying all of its messaging & communications apps into a single team, to be known as The Google-Alphabet/Google Chat/Gmail/Google Duo/Google Meet/Google Hangouts/Google Messages…team.

NBA Commissioner Adam Silver held a conference call with players, explaining that he didn’t know when or if fans could return to games and – more importantly – when groupies & hos would return.

The average number of passengers on a commercial U.S. airline flight during the pandemic is 23. The average number of lost bags is 20.

Diplo’s 30-year-old girlfriend Jevon King gave birth to their child. And baby makes Triplo.

Nutritional yeast, also known as ‘nooch’, is growing in popularity as a snack seasoning. It’s also what your girlfriend means when she says she has a nooch infection.

A London man whose Mount Everest climb was postponed due to the pandemic simulated it by walking up and down a flight of stairs 6,506 times in 24 hours & 30 minutes. To make it more realistic, he turned the temperature down and littered the stairs with dead bodies.

Paul L. Vazquez, the viral sensation “Double Rainbow Guy”, passed away at age 57, and will now be somewhere over them.


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