Tuesday Jokes: September 15th

Smoke from the west coast wildfires has reached the east coast, where skies will remain hazy because the smoke is required to quarantine for 14 days.

Health experts say that, despite risk from both seasonal flu and COVID-19, you shouldn’t get two flu shots. Shoppers at Walgreens say it will be hard to refuse the buy one, get one free special.

Scientists have found the area of the male brain that controls sexual desire. They were looking for a different portion of the male brain, but the sexual desire part kept getting in the way. [Story h/t to J.O.!]

Homeless Philadelphia protestors, living in an encampment while they seek affordable housing, invited Mayor Jim Kenney to a brunch there. Kenney declined, and missed out on the Thunderbird mimosas and squirrel carving station.

France reported 10,000 new cases of COVID-19. President Emmanuel Macron is delaying treatment to see if the virus surrenders first.

A new startup in India hopes to solve the country’s problem of disease caused by open defecation with an “indestructible” public toilet. However, the pandemic has delayed launch, since they can’t test it at Buffalo Bills parking lot tailgate parties.

Apple introduces its new Apple Watch later today, with a feature warning the wearer of an upcoming panic attack – that they’ll get when they discover they don’t have enough money for the new iPhone.

Drew Barrymore said she won’t refer to her new talk show – The Drew Barrymore Show – as “my show”. So this spring, she’ll get to tell staff “our show” is cancelled.

Sony says they may have to slow production of new Playstation 5 game consoles due to a shortage of processing chips. “Thanks for the excuse!” say cheapskate Moms & Dads.

A new report claims global animal populations have declined by 70% over the last 50 years. The study followed every animal except rats in New York.

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