Monday Jokes: July 25th

Rodney Alcala, a serial murderer known as The Dating Game Killer, died in prison before he could be executed. The Wheel Of Fortune killer RE_AI_S AT LAR_E.

A woman who matched with a January 6th rioter on dating app Bumble turned him in to federal authorities. She wanted to meet at a coffee shop, he wanted to break into her house with dozens of his friends.

Doctors, nurses and other medical workers are demanding that all health care professionals get COVID-19 vaccines, except for maybe hospice caregivers because, well, you know..

A Bucks County, Pennsylvania contractor was fined for employing minors at his roofing company. He was reported after a customer saw him carrying a worker up a ladder on his shoulders as he held a Fisher-Price toolbox.

Las Vegas Police solved a 1989 cold case murder using a record-low volume of DNA cells – determining the killer was the victim’s cousin, who died in 1996. Jury selection begins next week for the trial of the suspect’s skeleton.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Kyle Richards – who is allergic to beestings – was briefly hospitalized after walking into a beehive. Her costars all walked into the same hive a day later after noticing Kyle’s fuller lips.

Rapper Lizzo posted a viral TikTok video twerking while wearing popular new “booty lifting” $19 Seasum leggings from Amazon. The leggings are also popular with Amazon warehouse workers because they, too, do a lot of heavy lifting.

The NFL’s Houston Texans appear to have reversed course and may trade disgruntled QB Deshaun Watson, who’s been named in over 20 sexual assault allegations. He’s been sued so many times, the league may put up a testimony tent next to the concussion one.

NBC Universal is being torched for putting Team USA Men’s Basketball opening-round Olympic loss to France on its struggling streaming service, Peacock. A spokesman said they put it on Peacock because they didn’t want viewers to miss the air fryer infomercial on CNBC.

It’s so hot at the Tokyo Olympics, Russian tennis player Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova shoved bags of ice up her skirt during changeovers. “Uh oh” said her boyfriend.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s