Wednesday Jokes: May 25th

Hyundai recalled thousands of Accent & Elantra vehicles over the risk of shrapnel injuries from exploding seat belts during collisions. In the interim, owners are advised to not use the seat belts, and fly to safety through the windshield.

Aerosmith postponed some Las Vegas concert dates as sober frontman Steven Tyler entered rehab. In other news, Motley Crue announced their Stadium Tour remains on schedule, as frontman Vince Neil successfully maintained his alcohol and cheeseburger intake.

Adam Sandler posed for photos with a woman after the two were involved in a fender-bender in Los Angeles. The woman was in good spirits, saying it wasn’t nearly as bad a wreck as the time she paid to see Jack & Jill.

Caitlyn Jenner was reportedly not invited to stepdaughter Kourtney Kardashian’s wedding to Travis Barker in Italy. Jenner assumed she’d be on the guest list since it required a trans Atlantic flight.

According to a Southern Baptist Convention report on clergy sex abuse, 44 women made claims against the same Jacksonville pastor, Darrell Gillyard. They were all even more angry when Gillyard declared a 45th woman the winner of the church bake-off.

Walmart apologized for selling Great Value Juneteenth ice cream. They promised to pull it from stores – but that doing so has nothing to do with their new Great Value Red Velvet Cheesecake baby formula.

Instagram announced a ‘full visual refresh’ – with new branding, logo & typeface. Then admitted it’s not exactly a “full” refresh since you can still count on the same ol’ same ol’ boobs.

Kate Moss testified at the Amber Heard/Johnny Depp defamation trial, saying under oath that Depp never pushed her down a flight of stairs during their relationship, but that somehow she did manage to walk into six open doors because she’s so clumsy.

This Is Us aired its final episode. Producers are in negotiations to air reruns as That Was Us.

The CDC says 1 in 5 COVID survivors will develop long COVID. And if the other 4 out of 5 are smart, they’ll at least get a really long weekend out of it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s