Amazon Alexa smart speakers will soon be able to read stories in the voice of your deceased grandmother. All you need to do is buy an Alexa-equipped speaker, pick a story, and record a short audio clip of your grandmother before you kill her.

Amazon introduced Proteus, its first fully autonomous warehouse robot. It can pick & pack inventory, tell you why unions are a bad idea, and promote better-looking coworkers instead of you.

The Supreme Court struck down a New York State law restricting concealed carry of firearms. Owners of AR-15 assault rifles look forward to concealed carry, once they find really baggy pants to wear to their school or church shooting.

Kendall Jenner and Devin Booker, NBA All-Star for the Phoenix Suns, broke up. Jenner and sister Khloe Kardashian will host a combine-style gathering of NBA players to decide who they’ll bang next.

A mentally ill woman attempted to run her mother over with a car, but missed and drove it into the front of an Old Navy store. The driver was arrested and both came up empty-handed for Fathers Day gifts.

Baz Luhrmann’s Elvis debuted to negative reviews. AMC, Regal, and other theater chains announce that next Friday, Elvis has left the building.

91-year-old media billionaire Rupert Murdoch and model/actress wife Jerry Hall, 65, are divorcing. Melania Trump express-mailed Murdoch her resume and portfolio.

The Economist Intelligence Unit released its 2022 global list of the ‘Most Liveable Cities’. Vienna, Austria topped the list, followed by Copenhagen and Zurich. For the 10th straight year, the Most Unliveable City was a tie between “Everywhere in Mississippi”.

Artistic swimmer Anita Alavarez was rescued after she passed out and sunk to the bottom of the pool following her performance at the FINA World Aquatic Championships. She’ll compete again Friday, but this time she’ll wait a half-hour after eating lunch.

A man in England returned a book to his local library 76 years overdue, which had been borrowed by his dead mother. The library waived the $4,600 in accrued fines, but denied the man’s request to renew it.