Friday Jokes: August 26th

Teen pop star Olivia Rodrigo surprised fans by joining Billy Joel on stage at Madison Square Garden to sing Joel’s classic ‘Uptown Girl’. Joel, a big drinker, offered his take on Rodrigo’s big hit ‘Revoked Drivers License‘.

Nick Cannon is expecting his tenth child. The host of Wild ‘n Out has been wild ‘n in.

A new study finds the risk of dementia in dogs increases after age 10. Many have trouble remembering their owner’s name.

Five people were taken to an area hospital with back pain after riding the El Toro coaster at Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey. They were placed on the bus with 30 people going to the same hospital with stomach pain from the El Toro Snack Bar.

Cremated remains of deceased Star Trek actor Nichelle ‘Lieutenant Uhura’ Nichols will be dispersed in space. Only some of them will be launched, as opposed to a black whole.

George Foreman is accused of sexually assaulting two women in the 1970s. Attorneys for the accusers look forward to seeing George Foreman grilled.

A man on his honeymoon in Florida was arrested for soliciting a prostitute. He’s registered at Pottery Barn and as a sex offender.

A woman drew a gun during an argument with other back-to-school shoppers at the King Of Prussia Mall outside Philadelphia. Then, she returned the gun to the Customer Service counter where she’d borrowed it.

Melisa Raouf, a 20-year-old finalist in the Miss England pageant, is the first in history to compete without wearing makeup. She’s considered a longshot to win Miss England, but is a heavy favorite in the upcoming Miss Adult Acne pageant.

Professional competitive eater Joey Chestnut broke the world popcorn eating record by eating 32 24-ounce bags of popcorn in 8 minutes. Chestnut then spent the next 8 hours flossing his teeth.

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