Friday Jokes: December 30th

Philadelphia Police are investigating a 5-year-old boy who shot himself in the thigh with a handgun. They don’t know how the boy obtained the handgun, and are attempting to interview Santa Claus.

Six years of Donald Trump’s tax returns were made public. Identity thieves trying to get credit cards with his Social Security number were turned down because his credit score was too low.

A hacker discovered a flaw in Google Home smart speakers that allowed others to listen to conversations. But the hacker got bored listening to people ask Google about state capitals and what time it is.

Viral video shows a man firing shots at a Buffalo store looter during the city’s recent blizzard. He would have fired more bullets, but the gun froze.

Nick Cannon welcomed his 12th child, proving his Cannon balls are still firing.

Melania Trump was reportedly worried that she’d be seen in a bathrobe by unannounced visitors to her living quarters of the White House, such as Rudy Giuliani, Sydney Powell, and Donald Trump.

A Russian soldier got drunk and beat his commanding officer to death while the two rode on a military train on December 23rd. The rest of the soldiers then cancelled the remainder of the Secret Santa gift swap party.

Samuel Bateman, a fundamentalist Mormon leader accused of having over 20 wives, was jailed in Arizona on charges of kidnapping. Bateman requested his release on bail because he has seven wedding anniversaries coming up next month.

Chipotle is testing whether robots can make tortilla chips in stores. They’re waiting for the robots to recover from E.coli contamination.

Cardiologist Dr. Elizabeth Klodas shared her four worst foods for high cholesterol: red meat; processed meat; baked goods; and anything that starts with ‘Mc.’

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