Donald Trump survived separate attacks on his life – one from a 20-year-old with an AR-15 rifle, and an ongoing attack from the McDonald’s Corporation.

Following the assassination, Melania Trump issued a statement: “nevermind”, to her life insurance agent.

Speakers at this week’s Republican National Convention were announced, crushing the hopes of a first payday in 10 years for Kevin Sorbo and Scott Baio, who were left out.

Kid Rock posted an angry video to social media saying “you f*ck with Trump, you f*ck with me!”. So now you know two different ways to contract genital herpes.

The new Las Vegas Sphere’s exterior screen showed an emoji melting in the 120-degree heat, lending new meaning to the phrase ‘hot as balls’.

A National Association of Realtors report claims Montana has the highest housing prices in the U.S. – frustrating young grizzly bear couples who are packing up and moving to more affordable North Dakota.

A study presented at the Nutrition 2024 Conference finds diet soda & other ultraprocessed foods are even worse for humans than past studies indicated. Researchers presented the findings at the Nutrition 2024 Conference after organizers cancelled their appearance at the 2024 Arby’s Franchise Owners Meeting.

China’s Communist Party is meeting in Beijing to set the direction for the nation’s economy. So far, officials’ most popular direction appears to be “depressing”.

The Copa America soccer championship in Miami, won by Argentina over Colombia, was delayed over an hour as fans without tickets tried to force their way into the stadium. Security opened several outside gates for safety to keep fans from being crushed, and to sell some extra $15 beers.

Alec Baldwin’s involuntary manslaughter charge for a shooting death on set of the film Rust was dismissed. Production is set to resume, and in about a year the film will also be dismissed.