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Kim Kardashian and Tom Brady were rumored to be “super flirty” at a July 4th party. Since Gronk will always be his tight end, Kim will have to be fullback.

A new study finds harmful chemicals are present in tap water in roughly 50% of U.S. cities – and in roughly 100% of Dasani, as a flavoring agent.

A bodyguard for NBA rookie Victor Wembanyama reportedly slapped Britney Spears in the face in Las Vegas when she tapped him on the shoulder for a photo. Britney declined the photo afterward because they got her good side.

Doctors in Singapore removed an octopus stuck in a man’s throat. The man sent the octopus in to grab the frog stuck there.

‘Matlock‘ is being rebooted with Kathy Bates, after network research among assisted living residents determined the one thing lacking from the Andy Griffith original was sex appeal.

Performers are concerned about fans throwing items on stage during concerts, after Bebe Rexha, Kelsey Ballerini, Pink & Drake all had incidents. Other artists like Toby Keith aren’t worried, and hope someone throws a decent song at him.

Vanderpump Rules Ariana Madix – who gained notoriety after her boyfriend had sex with her best friend – is the first confirmed contestant on Dancing With The Stars. Although execs are wondering whether, with this level of casting, they need to rebrand as Dancing With People You Might Have Heard Of.

An 81-year-old female nudist gave a CNN reporter advice for first-timers going to a nude beach, saying to behave “like you’re at a church picnic”. Only don’t stare at the pie and hot dogs.

Las Vegas debuted the MSG Sphere – an 18,000-seat arena billed as the World’s Largest Spherical Structure. Despite being round, owners say that once visitors are inside, they’ll be able to find a corner to piss in.

A teacher’s assistant in Canada was fired after school administrators discovered her OnlyFans account. In spite of her job status, three dozen sophomore boys paid to watch after-school detention.

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Las Vegas Police reportedly set up surveillance cameras at a home where residents reported a UFO and alien sightings. One resident said they were anally probed on the alien ship, leading two CSIs to quit instead of gathering evidence.

The popularity of weight-loss drug Ozempic is creaing a spike in emergency room visits from users suffering diarrhea, nausea & bloating. Because symptoms are so similar, hospitals are separating visitors in to an Ozempic line, and an Arby’s line.

Disney/Pixar’s Elemental posted the worst opening box office weekend for a Pixar film at just $29.6 million – even lower than their second-worst effort, Buzz & Woody’s Wedding.

Breaking Bad star Bryan Cranston said he plans to honor existing commitments and retire from acting in 2026. He’ll seek advice on how to live without movie & tv roles from any one of the people serving him when he goes out to eat.

Spotify podcasting exec Bill Simmons called Prince Harry & Meghan Markle “f*cking grifters” after they ended a $20 million deal to produce content for the streaming service. A spokesperson for the couple corrected Simmons, saying technically they’re F*cking Archgrifters of Sussex.

A man who lost 360 pounds started a GoFundMe to pay for removal of his excess skin through a series of surgeries. He wants donors to feel like they have some skin in the game, so he’ll send them some of his.

Hunter Biden agreed to plead guilty to misdemeanor gun and tax evasion charges. “Well, that settles it, we can stop talking about this now” said Republicans.

Former Google CEO Eric Schmidt paid $67.6 million at a Treasury Department auction for a 267-foot superyacht that was seized from a Russian oligarch at the start of the Ukraine war. Schmidt says he plans to redecorate it, but will keep the hookers & blow.

Russia accused the U.S. of planning to drop malaria-infested mosquitos on Russian troops invading Ukraine. The U.S. denied it, admitting they tested the idea, but most of the mosquitos quit during basic training.

Singer Bebe Rexha was struck in the face with a smartphone at a New York concert, giving her a black eye and a three-stitch cut. A 27-year-old male was charged with simple assault, and also charged $100 for a cracked iPhone screen.