Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn broke up after six years together. As Swifties try to decipher who she’s referencing in her scorching new ex-boyfriend diss track, ‘Joe I’ll Win’.

HBO’s The White Lotus, previously set in exotic locations like Maui and Taormina, Italy, announced Season 3 will be set in Thailand – narrowly edging out Dollywood.

A 50-year-old man was found dead on a Philadelphia city golf course in what police are calling “suspicious”. He was only shot once, which is 3-under-par for Philly.

A Mississippi woman was arrested for having sex with a dog outside of a church in Mississippi. A local sheriff called it “one of the most disturbing cases he’s ever worked – they aren’t even married.”

A Chinese man was arrested for scaring 500 of his neighbor’s chickens to death using flashing lights. The local fire department was called to see if they could organize an overnight barbecue.

A gynecologist in Honduras shared the most shocking thing he’d ever found in a woman’s vagina – a cockroach. He also shared the second-most shocking thing he’s found, a cockroach trap.

In a jailhouse interview for UK television, convicted sex offender Ghislaine Maxwell said a photo of Prince Andrew with a teen accuser is “fake”. Mainly because Andrew is “wearing clothes”.

A ‘highly important’ painted porcelain Chinese bowl from the 18th century, measuring 4 inches in diameter, sold at auction for $25 million. The purchaser gets to keep the Skittles that were in it.

‘Bikini baristas’ won a $500,000 settlement against Everett, Washington for violating their rights by demanding they cover up, and will continue to wear minimal clothing. Although several original female plaintiffs have quit the Hillbilly Hotties shop due to 2nd-degree cleavage burns from spilled coffee.

An Indonesian man broke his penis in ‘the world’s most dangerous sex position: reverse cowgirl’ – which is reportedly responsible for 50% of penis fractures. That number increases significantly if the cowgirl in question is Lizzo.

Social media platform Path is closed down. “Where’d everybody go?” asked the one guy on Path who didn’t work at Path.

NFL players continued to express anger at officials enforcing new rules designed for player safety.  In Sunday’s games, referees threw 11 flags for Roughing The Passer, and another four for Hurting the Passer’s Feelings.

Taylor Swift caused controversy by endorsing Tennessee Democratic Senate candidate Phil Bredesen, who’s running against Republican incumbent Marsha Blackburn. Blackburn’s spokesperson said they plan to wait until Swift breaks up with Bredesen and writes a stinging kiss-off song about him.

In London, after selling for $1.4 million at Sotheby’s auction house, a painting from street artist Banksy shredded itself.  In south Philadelphia, a velvet airbrushed painting of Eagles QB Carson Wentz sold at a gas station for $30 and was later found shredded,  but the buyer’s wife denied doing it.

Microsoft said that they have a fix for files that are being deleted when pc users update to the latest version of Windows 10. They told customers to stay on the lookout for the patch, coming soon to Windows 14.

Stormy Daniels said she bumped into former Trump attorney Michael Cohen at an airport and that Cohen “said hi”. Daniels then boarded a flight to Los Angeles and “bumped into” six or seven other guys on the set of her new project.

Brewers of deep discount swill Natural Light are issuing a limited edition 77 Pack of 12-ounce cans. They say the 77 pays homage to 1977, the year of its creation – and also to the .77 blood alcohol content you’ll have when you die trying to finish it.

The newest food and beverage craze is CBD, or cannabidol, derived from the cannabis plant. Unlike THC, CBD has no psychoactive properties, so experts predict widespread first-time usage, followed by widespread anger at CBD dealers for selling liquid oregano.

President Trump praised First Lady Melania Trump’s visit to Africa, saying that she had done “a tremendous job representing our country in Africa– like no one has before.” Critics called his statement absurd, but fact-checkers agreed with the President, saying no First Lady visiting Africa had pulled off so many photo ops and costume changes.

A VICE article highlighted the disgusting trend of human feces being left on trails at some of the U.S.’s most popular national parks — citing visible piles of human waste at California’s John Muir Trail, Washington’s Olympic National Park, and Tennessee’s Dollywood.

Australian Apple Watch users experienced a glitch when the Apple Watch repeatedly failed after Australia moved to Daylight Savings Time. Apple CEO Tim Cook said they hadn’t anticipated Apple Watch customers caring how well the device kept time.

Dolly Parton’s theme park Dollywood is being sued for $2 million by a woman who said she suffered a severe spinal injury on the park’s RiverRush Water Coaster. Worse, she claims park medical staff in overalls and straw hats attempted to anesthetize her intravenously with the contents of two ceramic jugs labeled ‘XXX’.

Heather Locklear was arrested for the second time in two weeks, charged with battery on a police office and an EMT. Her parents are hopeful that Heather will get the help she so desperately needs – a really good agent.

Fixer Upper stars Joanna & Chip Gaines shared the first photo of their new baby son, Crew. He was named for the crew of workers who went to work this week renovating her birth canal.

Medical journal Obesity claims acceptance for plus-size people may prevent overweight adults from recognizing their own weight gain. A survey of 23,000 overweight/obese adults found 60 percent of men and 30 percent of women underestimated their weight. 90 percent returned the survey with mayonnaise stains.

Actor Mel Gibson lost his lawsuit to block the release of the film ‘Professor and the Madman’, which stars Gibson and documents the origins of the Oxford English Dictionary.  Gibson will not promote the film, and cancelled his appearance at the San Diego DictionaryCon.

Owner of Lexington, Virginia restaurant The Red Hen asked White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders and 7 of her family members to leave on the basis of “moral conviction”. Sanders said she left without incident, and was only there to have a small salad and glass of water, anyway.

Actor Michael Rapaport was able to defuse a situation aboard an American Airlines flight from Houston to Los Angeles, when a Vietnamese man attempted to open an emergency exit mid-flight. The man told authorities he believed the door was the bathroom door. Three members of the man’s family were behind him telling him to hurry up.

Thousands of bourbon barrels rolled out of a collapsed warehouse at a distillery in Bardstown, Kentucky.  No one was injured, but a courageous plumber is attempting to reach the angry gorilla rolling barrels from atop the warehouse to halt further damage.

Culinary robotics company Creator is opening a restaurant in San Francisco, and will sell hamburgers made by a robot. The burgers take six minutes, and if you don’t like it the robot will spit WD-40 in it.

After a woman in Walgreens Pharmacy was denied a prescription to end her pregnancy that would result in miscarriage, Walgreens defended their policy to allow pharmacists to deny prescriptions for which they have a ‘moral objection’. Walgreens also said they regret hiring Christian Scientist pharmacists who won’t give any medicine to anyone.

Online auction house GottaHaveRockandRoll.com is auctioning a love letter that Madonna sent to model Amanda Cazalet in 1991. Madonna kissed Cazalet in the video for her song ‘Justify My Love’. When asked if the letter was perfumed, the auction house only said it smelled like it had been rubbed on something.