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A ‘flying taxi’, backed by Google co-founder Larry Page, is starting test runs in New Zealand.  So far the biggest issue is passengers falling to their deaths after saying “just drop me off anywhere.”

President Trump addressed the military on Tuesday and floated the idea of creating a “Space Force” to fight future battles in outer space. The Chairman of Fox Entertainment declared the newly debuted Fox Kids cartoon ‘Space Force’ a huge hit.

Renowned physicist Stephen Hawking died at age 76. No cause of death was listed but I mean…come on.

The U.K. will expel 23 Russian diplomats after Moscow refused to explain how a Russian-made nerve agent was used on a former spy in Salisbury, England. The diplomats are said to be stunned over a return to Russia, thinking there’s no way they’d have to live anywhere that the food is worse than England.

The World Surf League has instructed broadcasters televising women’s surfing events to avoid close-ups of the surfers’ crotches and buttocks in high-cut bikini bottoms. Representatives for the broadcasters agreed, and said they’ll try to focus their cameras on the sharks ogling the women from several feet away.

Walmart plans to expand its grocery delivery business – meaning they’ll ask the Frito-Lay and Hawaiian Punch truck drivers to toss stuff on Walmart shoppers’ porches on their way to the stores.

‘Ear seeds’, or auriculotherapy is trending. The treatment derives from Chinese medicine and involves sticking plant seeds on the ear to treat bodily ailments. The treatment can be done at home, but some hospitals have reported treating infections from cheapskates rubbing sesame seed Whopper buns on their ears.

Students nationwide walked out of their high-school classes to protest gun violence. Most protests are planned to last at least 17 minutes — or, longer, if you’re the skinny kid and it’s Dodgeball Week in gym.

A California teacher and reserve police officer trained in gun usage accidentally fired his weapon during a public safety class, sending a bullet in to the ceiling and injuring a student from falling debris. The accidental firing is in dispute, since the teacher’s last words before the gun went off were “I said SHUT UP.”

Ford Motor Company is recalling over a million midsize cars since the steering wheel can become detached, and knock the cell phone out of drivers’ hands.

 

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Apple unveiled its latest round of new emoji, including a breastfeeding mom and a woman in a headscarf. Mike Pence’s wife Karen immediately took away his iPhone.

  • Other additions include a “mind blown” face, and a face spewing green vomit, part of the “Make America Great Again” emoji bundle.

This week is “Made In America” week as declared by President Trump, with all states sending items to The White House that were made in that state. Georgia sent food from Chick Fil A, and Arizona sent golf clubs from PING Golf – at which point the President told all the remaining states not to bother.

  • New York and the District of Columbia sent their latest creations – fact-based stories from the New York Times and Washington Post about Trump & Russia.

Over the weekend, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau met a 2 month old baby, born to Syrian refugees living in Canada, named Justin-Trudeau Adam Bilau, as he attended a rodeo in Calgary. Meanwhile last June, Donald Trump met a 39 year old baby named Donald Trump Jr, born to one of his ex-wives, right after he conferenced with Russian operatives in New York.

President Trump’s overall job approval rating dropped to 38%, the lowest of any President six months in to his term recorded in the last hundred years. Trump criticized the poll and said he was waiting for Nielsen ratings.

Subway announced they’re looking to freshen up the appearance of their stores to help halt declining sales. Subway’s CEO said that they require franchisees to update their facilities every 7 to 10 years, and update their meat & rolls every 10 to 15 years.

O.J. Simpson’s parole hearing is scheduled for this Thursday. If granted, O.J. is eligible for release on October 1st, and available for cameos in Adam Sandler movies on October 2nd.

A stunt man fell to his death on the set of The Walking Dead. He was recast an hour later as an extra.

Honda released its newly-redesigned 2018 Honda Accord sedan. “Cool!” said your Dad.

A million dollars worth of marijuana was found in spare tire compartments of Ford Fusions assembled in Mexico. The DEA is investigating, but meanwhile Ford is reporting record sales of the Fusion Special El Chapo Edition.

Ed Sheeran made a cameo appearance on the season premiere of Game of Thrones, playing a soldier leading other soldiers in a singalong…until a guy came along and changed the station to a different group of soldiers.