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Scientists in Zurich have developed a lightweight virtual reality glove that simulates holding and touching objects that aren’t really there. It was developed so that the scientists could finally experience what it’s like to get to second base.

WOW Air will discontinue round trip flights from St. Louis to Reykjavik, Iceland. WOW said the decision was a combination of low demand, and complaints from St. Louis passengers who bought tickets to Iceland thinking they were landing in Buffalo.

White House adviser Jared Kushner, addressing the Saudi response to the disappearance of writer Jamal Khashoggi, said that Saudi Crown Prince Muhammad bin Salman must provide ‘full transparency’. Prince MBS misunderstood, and texted Kushner pictures of 8 of his wives in see-through robes.

Elon Musk said that a high-speed transit tunnel beneath Los Angeles from his Boring Company debuts December 10th, with free rides offered to the public on December 11th. No word on how private citizens sign up for the free rides, especially since rats with travel plans are already lined up.

Sarah Silverman said on the Howard Stern show that she sometimes allowed Louis C.K. to masturbate in front of her; but added that it reached a point where, when Louis asked if she wanted to see his new five minutes, she said no.

Thousands of Swedes are having microchips embedded in their thumbs by a company called Biohax. The chips act as wireless entry keys, e*tickets and travel passes. And when you shove your thumb up your ass, Biohax senses you’re bored and summons ideas of things for you to do.

In India, the brother of a 72-year-old man who died after 20 wild monkeys threw rocks at him from a nearby tree wants the monkeys to be charged. The local chief of police refused, saying it would make the police a laughingstock — and that, despite dozens of interrogation attempts, none of the monkeys are talking.

The ‘Wonder Woman’ sequel – ‘Wonder Woman 1984’ – has been delayed from a November, 2019 release to June, 2020 — surprising no one who’s ever waited for a woman to get ready.

Kendall Jenner lashed out at TMZ for sharing her home address, since a stalker has twice been arrested at Jenner’s home. Her publicist then called TMZ to tell them which clubs and restaurants she’ll be visiting for the remainder of the week.

Federal prosecutors in the District of Columbia have set up a hotline so victims can report clergy abuse by Catholic priests.  Your call is important to them. Due to large volume, your estimated hold time is approximately 90 minutes.

 

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Comcast announced it’s rolled out 1 Gigabit/second speed availability to all of its residential internet customers. They’re encouraging people to sign up for the service and experience speeds about one-tenth as fast as advertised.

Greg Lansky, owner of Strike 3 Entertainment — a man who calls himself “the Steven Spielberg of porn” — is suing 40 ‘John Does’ in the Buffalo, NY area for pirating his adult content. The defendants have not been named, but dozens of 15-year-old boys are moving their allowances into offshore Cayman Islands accounts.

A school cafeteria manager in Nebraska resigned after admitting he made and sold chili to students containing kangaroo meat.  At a track meet the next day, a student broke the decades-old high jump record by a full foot.

Senator Mitch McConnell and his wife, Elaine Chao, were confronted by angry protesters on Friday night as they dined at a Cuban restaurant. McConnell said he was just there to enjoy his food and help ICE agents load a truck full of servers for deportation to Cuba.

A 22-year-old man arrested at Baltimore-Washington International Airport for possessing a firearm in his luggage blamed his mother, who he said did his packing.  As evidence, the man submitted a note attached to the .40 caliber rifle, reading “Have fun shooting someone! Call me. Love, Mom.”

Saudi Arabia confirmed that missing writer Jamal Khashoggi is dead. They said he was being interrogated when a fistfight broke out and he died. Asked where his body is, the Saudis said they gave it to a mortician, but that he got into a fistfight with a competing mortician and now they can’t find it.

Video surfaced of a male Coral Springs, Florida police officer repeatedly punching  the ribs of a 14-year-old girl, subdued and lying face-down on the ground outside of a mall. “I paid $49 for this?…” said UFC fight fans before realizing it wasn’t video of a UFC-sanctioned event.

Denis Hof, a Nevada entrepreneur who owned & operated two legal brothels, the Bunny Ranch & Love Ranch, died last week. Paramedics arrived to treat an ‘unresponsive male’, and were surprised to find a lifeless body, because ‘unresponsive males’ at the Bunny Ranch are usually treated with Cialis.

A large, inflatable walk-through colon was stolen from the University of Kansas Cancer Center. Meanwhile, an oversized rectum is being flown to Texas to appear at a campaign rally for Senator Ted Cruz.

A new study claims that adults can reduce their risk of cancer by eating organic. A poll of Americans asking if they’d rather do their weekly shopping at Whole Foods or get cancer was a toss-up.