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The FDA approved Opill, the first non-prescription over-the-counter daily birth control pill, just in time for Back To School shopping.

A rare tornado was spotted near Chicago, with local gangs vowing to unite and shoot it down.

A medical assistant in Philadelphia was charged with stealing patients personal information and buying $30,000 worth of home goods on Wayfair. She’ll spend two years in prison in a cell she describes as ‘shabby chic’.

A medical assistant in Philadelphia was charged with stealing patients personal information and buying $30,000 worth of home goods on Wayfair. She’ll spend two years in prison in a cell she describes as ‘shabby chic’.

Actor Matt Damon said he occasionally “falls into a depression” making movies that may turn out being very good. He says he’s consoled by fans who tell him they fall into a depression watching them.

Actor Tom Holland said he impressed girlfriend Zendaya when he used his handyman skills to fix her broken door. In turn, Holland said she polished his knob.

A gastroenterologist tells CNN that daily bowel movements aren’t necessary, and that the appearance of stools is more important to determining health. He said the healthiest stools are firm and sausage-like, and the unhealthiest still have pieces of the Gordita Supreme wrapper in them.

Police are looking for South American “crime tourists” responsible for a series of burglaries in Wilmington, Delaware. They’re hoping South Americans will help with information, since there can’t be many people who know someone wanting to travel from South America to Delaware.

Seattle vagrants and drug addicts living in a homeless encampment reportedly bought and filled an inflatable swimming pool to beat the summer heat. They’re asking for part-time help skimming the pool of vagrants and drug addicts.

Kim Kardashian told her family she’s planning to be ABC’s next “Bachelorette”. An ABC executive wouldn’t confirm, saying it’s between Kim, and another three-times-divorced single-mother-of-four who actually graduated college.

A scribbled will found in the couch cushions of late singer Aretha Franklin was ruled to be valid. The handwriting was indeed Franklin’s, as determined by an expert examining the document while wearing a gas mask.

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Bruce Springsteen reportedly turned down a request to name a New Jersey Turnpike rest area after him. Travelers will miss out on the chance to get sick in the bathroom of the Bruce Springsteen Roy Rogers.

Evictions are expected to spike as a pandemic moratorium ends. Homeless people are cashing in by listing their appliance boxes and tarps on AirBNB.

The owners of the NFL’s Buffalo Bills are reportedly asking for over $1 billion in taxpayer money to fully fund a new stadium. One proposal calls for taxes on Buffalo tourism destinations, which would generate the money in about 1 million years.

The U.S. Women’s National Soccer team lost its Olympic semifinal match to Canada, 1-0. The crushing defeat deals a serious blow to the promotional plans of Subway and multiple feminine hygiene brands.

Cleveland Browns wide receiver Odell Beckham, Jr spent $1.8 million on new porcelain dental veneers framed with 13-carat diamonds. Beckham’s teammates claim he has horrible breath since he can only get his teeth brushed at a jewelry store.

ZZ Top frontman Billy Gibbons said that the deteriorating health of late bassist Dusty Hill was “a real big challenge”; adding that Hill dying is “an even bigger challenge”.

Google Translate will launch a new update, making it even easier for American jerks to argue over the timeliness and acccuracy of their ethnic food deliveries.

New York City officials ordered the removal of a two-story outdoor dining structure built by restaurant The Izakaya NYC. The structure violated building codes, and several people suffered broken limbs walking around looking for the 2nd-floor restroom.

A man pleaded guilty to the 1971 theft of a Revolutionary War rifle from the Valley Forge Historical Park Visitor Center. The rifle will be returned to the Center once restoration experts remove the Lynyrd Skynyrd and Toby Keith stickers from it.

Matt Damon said that he’s “retired” the word ‘f*ggot’ from his vocabulary over objections from his daughters, but now he needs new nicknames for Ben Affleck and George Clooney.