By |

Ricardo, a large steer captured running on New Jersey Transit train tracks in December, is hospitalized with an infection. All of Ricardo’s girlfriends are advised to get tested.

A woman was trapped for 15 hours overnight in a gondola lift at Lake Tahoe’s Heavenly Ski Resort. The lift was apparently shut off with her in it, and things went downhill from there.

E. Jean Carroll said she plans to spend the $83 million awarded to her by the jury in her defamation lawsuit on “something Donald Trump hates”. She’ll still have $82,999,000 left after buying the treadmill.

For the first time ever, a live baby great white shark has been spotted in the wild off the California coast. The baby shark was fine having its picture taken, but begged whoever took the photo not to play the song.

Taylor Swift was seen mouthing the words “go away, please” as cameras showed her watching boyfriend Travis Kelce from a suite at the AFC Championship. An estimated 30 million people watching at home were saying the same thing to their TVs.

Eminem also watched from a suite as his Detroit Lions suffered a crushing defeat to the San Francisco 49ers in the NFC Championship. No word on whether Eminem also hooked up with a tight end after the game.

Privacy advocates are concerned that Google plans to allow artificial intelligence to read and analyze texts sent on its Google Messages platform. AI already can tell which messages are really boring and lie about never getting the text.

Sofia Vergara said her acting jobs are “limited” because of her Colombian accent – but adds that meetings with producers are “plentiful” because of her breasts.

A 49-year-old military veteran faked needing a wheelchair for 20 years to collect almost $700,000 in disability benefits. He was working as a kindergarten teacher, where a confidential informant captured video of him doing the Hokey Pokey.

An Associated Press investigation found U.S. prison labor is used in the supply chain of many popular food brands, including Gold Medal flour, Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes, and Double-Stuf Life Without Parole Oreo Cookies.

By |

Netflix plans to raise prices again, and is considering a name change to Neflixfinity.

Brittany Coppage, a Missouri high school English teacher was placed on leave after school district officials discovered her performing sex acts on OnlyFans. The school superintendent requested an additional $20/month to continue his investigation.

A Long Island school bus driver was removed after being photographed drinking an alcoholic beverage while driving high school students home. Pending a review, the bus driver has been downgraded to gym teacher.

Representatives Steve Scalise and Jim Jordan are the first candidates emerging to replace Kevin McCarthy as Speaker of the House. Both are prepping for the all-important talent and swimsuit competitions.

A 33-year-old Louisiana teacher accused of giving birth to a 17-year-old student’s baby was arrested and charged with rape. School officials grew suspicious when the teacher held a gender reveal party during social studies.

A drunk New Jersey woman was fired from her job after being caught on video telling German tourists to “get the f**k out of our country” while they rode on a New Jersey Transit train. The Germans – having seen New Jersey – agreed it was a good idea.

NBA star Damian Lillard – recently traded from the Portland TrailBlazers to the Milwaukee Bucks – filed for divorce from wife Kay’La. Kay’La will receive future considerations, and Lillard will receive several playa-lovers to be named later.

Juliana Saggaram, a DoorDash driver, was arrested and charged with stealing packages off of porches while delivering food. She was also cited for a lesser charge of stealing french fries.

A Rikers Island prison guard was charged with cheating New York City out of $170,000 in false overtime pay. He was found out after several other guards said they hadn’t seen him beating up inmates after 5pm in months.

A Pennsylvania mummy known as ‘Stoneman Willie’ since 1895 has been identified and will be given a proper burial. Forensics experts are still working to identify Pennsylvania Werewolf and Pennsylstein.