One person was injured following a fire at a Sherwin Williams paint factory in Texas. First responders described the fire as Summer Citrus Orange.

Florida officials kicked off the 10-day Florida Python Challenge – with $30,000 in prizes to humanely kill invasive Burmese Pythons. Hundreds of pythons have been removed, although several competitors in the Youth Division are reported missing.

The American Red Cross implemented new LGBTQ+-friendly blood donor guidelines. Transfusion recipients will have the ability to opt out of receiving the LGBTQ-donated blood which will definitely make them gay.

A Miami woman was arrested for hiring a hitman to kill her 3-year-old son. Daycare workers apprehended a 4-year-old as he wrapped the cord of a Sesame Street phone around the target’s neck during naptime.

An Italian man died after being crushed to death by thousands of wheels of cheese. It took 11 hours for workers to find his body under the wheels, and another 11 hours to remove the cheese they grated to get to him.

Sandra Bullock’s longtime partner Bryan Randall died at age 57. Bullock requested privacy while she awaits meeting a handsome widower at a farmer’s market who, over the course of 100 minutes, convinces her that she can fall in love again.

Kim Kardashian revealed she recently broke her shoulder, admitting she wasn’t ready to pick up and hold her own children. [Alternate: Kim Kardashian revealed she broke her shoulder, but won’t say how she managed to sit on it.]

Five teenagers were shot at a Philadelphia playground. All are expected to survive, but they’re also now “It” in their ongoing game of Philly Tag.

Zoom is requiring some workers to return to physical offices, and will offer additional training on how employees can mute coworkers in-person.

A New York City landlord lost a court battle to evict a tenant who claimed to be opening an acupuncture clinic, but opened a brothel instead. Either way, someone is still being stuck as others are getting screwed.

Data from insurance industry website Insurify shows that, of the seven most popular vehicles owned by drivers withar DUI, seven are pickup trucks. Owners say it’s because of the convenience transporting cases of beer and injured pedestrians.

Threat assessmnent experts cite an increased risk of violence posed by “incels” – involuntary celibate men frustrated they can’t have sexual relationships with women. It’s so bad, threat levels have been elevated to Code Red for every ComicCon this summer.

The European Union stripped Russia of “Most Favored Nation” trade status. Emails sent to Russian households inform buyers their UPS shipment is scheduled to arrive ‘Never’.

Russia is seizing hundreds of Boeing & Airbus passenger jets grounded in the country. Spirit Airlines is pleased to announce new 29-Ruble SuperSaver flights between Moscow and St. Petersburg.

37 million people in China are in COVID lockdown – leading to immense stress in households that have already reached their two-child limit.

Dolly Parton refused her nomination to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and also refused to endorse the write-in candidate seeking to take her spot on the ballot, Lou Bega.

Tom Brady’s return to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers has put his feature film project ‘80 For Brady‘ in question. That, and Jane Fonda’s decision to return to making leotard & leg warmer aerobics videos.

A Wisconsin bird flu outbreak will require the culling of 2.75 million chickens – as 300 Wisconsin fire departments band together for a world record barbecue.

A new study claims sleeping with even a small amount of light on harms your heart health. The study cites audience heart attacks suffered falling asleep during showings of three-hours-long ‘The Batman’.

Sandra Bullock announced she’s “taking a break” from acting. Viewers of her last few movies announced “that’s a terrific idea”.