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Swift Alwyn engaged

Friday Jokes: August 9th

By cmdolan99 | August 9, 2019

Google Maps is testing a feature that presents an augmented reality to users while giving walking directions. For instance, as you walk around Atlantic City at night, you’re presented with an augmented reality where you’re not mugged or stabbed.

Kylie Jenner turned 22, matching her all-time high score on a geometry exam.

In other birthday news, fire safety icon Smokey the Bear turns 75. He’s hoping this year, he finally gets a shirt.

A United Express flight attendant was fired for being so drunk, passengers had to put on her seat belt for her, but only after giving a 60-second explanation of how it works.

Uber reported a quarterly loss of over $5 billion. They’re so broke, they’re thinking of driving for Lyft.

A heavily-armed man wearing body armor and carrying a tactical rifle was arrested in a Missouri Walmart. The man was taken away by police, but asked by the store manager to come back and work security on Black Friday.

JC Penney may be kicked off of the New York Stock Exchange because its shares are routinely traded at less than a dollar, and another 40% off with coupon.

Rumors are circulating that Taylor Swift is engaged to boyfriend Joe Alwyn. They started after fans listened to her entire ‘Lover’ album and didn’t hear a single catty song about dumping him.

Popeye’s is bringing its first-ever chicken sandwich to its nationwide menu, responding to customer concerns that they weren’t getting enough carbs.

The FBI is planning to monitor Facebook, Twitter & Instagram for terrorism and domestic threats in realtime. So far they’ve arrested 75 terrible comedians bragging about killing it at open mics.

Posted in Comedy, Jokes, Uncategorized and tagged as Atlantic City, Black Friday, drunk flight attendant, FBI monitors Facebook Instagram Twitter, Google Maps, JCPenney, Joe Alwyn, Kylie Jenner, Lyft, Man in body armor arrested at Missouri Walmart, New York Stock Exchange, Popeye's chicken sandwich, Smokey the Bear, Swift Alwyn engaged, Taylor Swift Lover, Uber, Uber loses $5 billion, United Express flight attendant durnk. Leave a comment

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