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New Jersey fishermen spotted a massive great white shark. Shark experts say it’s a teenage great white, because of its size, and because it was copying a great black shark’s dance moves and recording it for Tik Tok.

Philadelphia police blamed “contagious gunfire” for a weekend shooting on South Street. As proof of the contagion, they said over a dozen people tested positive for lead.

A petition from Michigan Republicans to stop voter fraud was voided after it was found to contain 20,000 fake signatures. They’ll regroup and renew their efforts, according to Michigan GOP chairman Mike Hunt.

Actress Neve Campbell will not appear in Scream 6, saying the salary she was offered was insufficient given her contributions to the franchise. That, and the first five left her with a really sore throat.

Apple announced iOS 16 and changes to iMessage, including the ability to unsend and edit dick pics.

Paramount Pictures, producer of Top Gun: Maverick, is being sued for copyright payments by family members of the author of an article which inspired the original Top Gun. Plaintiffs are seeking damages in the millions, although a similar suit involving the Iron Eagle movies was settled for free popcorn refills.

The CDC added four nations to its ‘high risk’ list for travel due to COVID infections: St Kitts & Nevis; Guyana; Mongolia; Namibia. Also, the bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms added two destinations to their high-risk list: anywhere in Philadelpia or Chicago on Saturday nights

A mysterious radio signal emanating from a slow pulsar in outer space has astronomers baffled – despite being the 10th callers, they were unable to identify the secret sound and the Radio Jupiter prize pack grew to $6,000.

Amazon Prime Video released the first trailer for its ‘A League Of Their Own’ tv show, which promises a “deeper look at race & sexuality” in women’s pro baseball. Translation: Betty Spaghetti’s husband dies and she hooks up with her black teammate.

More PGA Tour players are resigning in order to play for the Saudi-backed LIV Golf Tour. The first event is this weekend in London, so they’ll all be-headed there.

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Scottish football referees Craig Napier and Lloyd Wilson came out as gay, to help change the stigma of homosexuality in that country. Now they give players a redyelloworangegreenblue card.

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson faces a ‘no confidence’ vote from Parliament for throwing parties during COVID lockdown. Johnson’s defense centers on his wanting to get a 20-month headstart on the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee celebrations.

Sony Pictures rerelease of box office bomb Morbius failed, with just $85,000 in tickets sold on Friday – and those were to people tricked by the new title, Top Gun: Morbius.

Queen Elizabeth was unable to attend her Platinum Jubilee concert due to discomfort. However, she did send two royal butlers to the show to throw her panties on the stage at Rod Stewart.

Thousands of UK workers are starting a four-day work week trial, where they receive full pay for just 80% of the hours, promising that they’ll maintain the same productivity. “Yep, we promise” said British teens smoking cigarettes in front of UK Walmart.

New diabetes drug Tirzepatide led to larger-than-expected weight loss in patients, and not just from their feet falling off.

Virgin Atlantic airlines updated its policy and now allows flight attendants to show off their tattoos while in uniform. However, tattoos on women’s breasts and men’s buttocks are only visible to first class passengers.

Kyle Rittenhouse claimed he’s going to Texas A&M in the fall, but the university said he’s not enrolled. Rittenhouse clarified, saying he meant he’s going to Texas armed & murder people.

A teaser trailer for the new Hunger Games movie prequel premiered last night, called The No Thanks I’m Stuffed Games.

388 people in Britain donned mermaid tails to break the Guinness World Record for largest gathering of ‘merfolk’. The mermaid tails may be auctioned off, once the urine is cleaned out of them.