A self-described transgender vampire was convicted in Wisconsin of sexual assault. Sentencing is scheduled next month for Countess Dracula.

Donald Trump’s social media platform Truth Social will start a streaming tv channel. They’ll air Trump rallies and felony trials in between JAG & NCIS reruns.

A former prosecutor told CNN he worries about the safety of jurors in Trump’s NYC hush money felony trial – especially since they’ll be sequestered at Trump’s Bedminister, New Jersey hotel & golf club.

Drug maker Eli Lilly claims their weight loss drug Zepbound also reduces sleep apnea – mostly because people lose enough belly fat that they can finally sleep face down if they want.

Hollywood producer Carol Baum said she “doesn’t get” it-girl actress Sydney Sweeney, saying she’s “not pretty” and “can’t act”. ….. “Yeah, we don’t care” said male Hollywood producers.

Phoenix, Arizona is holding a tree planting drive, as average temperatures approach 100 degrees. Organizers say they expect shade from the trees to pay off after everyone planting them has been dead for twenty years.

A snake slithering through a passenger car on one of Japan’s bullet trains caused a 17-minute stoppage in the trip from Tokyo to Osaka. The snake was captured and returned to the kitchen so chefs could continue making lunch for the dining car.

The Department of Justice is considering anti-trust action against Ticketmaster/Live Nation for excessive fees and controlling a massive share of the ticketing market. Ticketmaster has already listed seats at the trial for $500 each plus $75 in fees.

Crystal Kung Minkoff announced she’s leaving Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, where she was the Bravo series first Asian American cast member. She’s considering joining the cast of Real Housewives of Oklahoma, where she’d be the first Asian to ever live there.

Salvatore ‘Sal the Shoemaker’ Rubino of Sal’s Shoe Repair on Long Island was charged with running an illegal gambling operation out of the shop. Investigators recorded Rubino hitting a customer with a baseball bat over failing to pay $20,000 for new soles on his loafers.

An Arizona woman was trampled to death by an elk she was trying to feed. The woman’s body was found next to a bag from Taco Bell.

The Washington Zoo returned panda bears Mei Xiang and Tian Tian along with their cubs to China. In exchange, China returned several American grizzly bears detained at the Shanghai Zoo for espionage.

Ohio voters legalized recreational marijuana. But it will still take months for Cleveland to move up the America’s Most Livable Cities list.

A magnitude 5.3 earthquake struck near the western Texas town of Mantone. The quake started at 4:27 a.m. and lasted about a minute, at which point Texans stopped shooting at it.

The FDA approved a new injectable weight loss drug, Zepbound, following a lengthy clinical trial that resulted in Kelly Clarkson looking terrific.

GOP Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming censorship after airport retailer Hudson Booksellers said it won’t sell her upcoming memoir, MTG. Hudson said they based their decision on limited shelf space in airport stores, and Taylor Greene’s supporters being illiterate.

Actors union SAG-AFTRA ended their 118-day strike. Following member approval of the new deal on Friday, actors and studios will get back to work producing crap.

A brawl erupted outside the Los Angeles screening of a film documenting the Hamas terror attack in Israel. Across town, a bigger brawl erupted with hardcore MCU fanboys demanding refunds after a screening of The Marvels.

A former Maryland middle school teacher was arrested and charged with having sex with a student eight years ago when she was 22 and the student was 14. The former student described the sex as “memorable”.

A flight from the U.K. to the U.S. departed with two broken windows in the passenger cabin, and reached 15,000 feet before anyone noticed. Flight attendants attempted to fix them with ‘unruly passenger’ duct tape, but the flight turned around anyway.