North Korea’s Kim Jong-Un and South Korea’s Moon Jae-in announced an historic armistice, with both countries agreeing to denuclearize and end their long war. Un commemorated the deal by going home to North Korea and executing a bunch of cabinet members who told him it couldn’t be done.

The newly-reached peace accord was a challenge, but they were able to move the Un and Moon to get it done.

The two Korean leaders and their wives attended a post-summit banquet on Friday where they dined on delicacies from both sides of the border: South Korean barbecue, and North Korean parasites.

Comedian Bill Cosby was convicted on all three sexual-assault-related charges he faced in his retrial. As the guilty verdicts were read, Cosby’s attorney asked that jurors be polled individually, and each replied “hey, hey, hey!” that they had, indeed, voted ‘guilty’.

The arrest of Joseph DeAngelo, alleged to be the ‘Golden State Killer’, was made possible by DNA matching using a genealogy website.  DeAngelo’s court-appointed lawyer reviewed the evidence with him, at which point DeAngelo was stunned to learn he’s 5% Chinese!

The Centers for Disease Control released statistics that autism in schoolchildren increased 15% between 2012 and 2014. “Sad!” said President Trump, blaming the Obama Administration.

Amazon is raising the annual price of Amazon Prime from $99 to $119. The company says the increase is to cover rising costs, after barely squeaking by with a $3 Billion annual profit in 2017.

Amazon detailed some of the cost increases, including shipping costs, programming costs for Prime Video, drone insurance, and crowbars to facilitate Prime subscribers’ packages delivered to their car trunks and inside their homes.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders took questions from the children of reporters on Take Your Child To Work Day, including one from a child asking why FBI Director James Comey was fired. Sanders replied Comey “did some things that weren’t very nice” before revoking the child’s credentials and barring them from snack time.

Singer Janelle Monae announced that she’s pansexual – and if she smokes weed before sex, she’s pot & pansexual.