Friday Jokes: June 14th

SunTrust and BB&T banks are merging and changing names to Truist. Asked to use it in a sentence, the CEO said “the Truist way to profitability is bounced check fees.”

A government watchdog group has recommended that White House Advisor Kellyanne Conway be removed. The group is the Department of Hair, Makeup & Wardrobe.

  • They asked that Trump go too, but can’t do anything to a sitting President.

The Toronto Raptors won the NBA title, defeating the Golden State Warriors in six games. Prime Minister Trudeau’s staff is busily scheduling the team’s visit to 24 Sussex for a champion’s heat lamp buffet of McPoutine’s and Back Bacon King.

The New York Times shared a preliminary design of the Harriet Tubman $20 bill. It was reworked following a first draft showing Thomas Jefferson next to Tubman asking her out for drinks.

Scientists at Florida State University’s ‘MagLab’ – for the study of magnetic fields – have made the world’s strongest magnet. They’ve already received inquiries from Floridians interested in sticking an alligator to their refrigerator.

President Trump announced the departure of Press Secretary Sarah Sanders at a White House event promoting second chance programs for convicted felons. This way, their applications will be on top of the pile.

Nintendo is considering a move of its manufacturing operations out of China – to avoid U.S. import tariffs, and based on intelligence that Mario may be sharing intel secrets.

Bentley introduced a new sedan with a top speed of 207 miles per hour. Still, the 2020 Bentley Flying Spur is no match for the 1940 Oak Tree.

Google is ending integration of Google Photos and Google Drive. They say users find it ‘confusing’, adding that the move will make it much easier for Google to dis-integrate your content.

The first Democratic presidential candidate debates will air over two nights, June 26 & 27, on NBC Networks. Viewers are being tricked into watching by ads calling the debates ‘This Is 20 Of Us’.

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