Thursday Jokes: October 17th

A 7-year-old was caught vaping CBD oil at a Wisconsin grade school. The vape device was confiscated, and a teacher gave the student a few Marlboros to get through the day.

During a meeting on Syria, President Trump called Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi “a third-rate politician” in what Pelosi described as a “meltdown”. The House then passed a measure to give the President a time-out, but Senate leader Mitch McConnell refused to vote on it.

Chicago school teachers are planning to strike, leaving 360,000 students without the education they need to become successful gang leaders.

A new form of yoga, “rage yoga” combines traditional poses with alcohol, cursing and obscene gestures. Rage yoga formed when someone left the tv in a yoga studio turned on and tuned to a Philadelphia Eagles game.

Massimo Giannulli, husband of Lori Loughlin and codefendant in their college admissions scam trial, lost both of his parents this year. “It’s been a hard time” says a source close to the family. “Well, kinda” said Lori.

The United States men’s national soccer team lost to Canada for the first time in decades, and a hockey game didn’t even break out.

Flip or Flop’s Christina Anstead said that her six-week old newborn son, Hudson, will sometimes cry for hours straight. She said she’s tried everything to get him to stop – from changing the wall color to the flooring – and nothing’s worked.

An Iowa man found his basement flooded with five inches of fat and blood that had leaked in from a neighboring meat locker business. He was urged not to throw it out by Guy Fieri, because that’s where all the flavor is.

Researchers claim losing large amounts of weight later in life may increase the risk of premature death from heart disease. The study was funded by fat Italian grandmothers who think you look too skinny.

Six siblings in the Netherlands spent a decade in a basement bunker literally waiting for the end of the world before one escaped and ordered beers at a local bar. He chugged the beers after saying “it’s Doomsday somewhere.”



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